i have o idea how to stop my yougest two costatly bickerig ad hurting each other and its making me really really depressed

[BrandyButterGalore]

i grow ever more despondent at the awareness that i am ot the parent i thought id be. they bicker and fight and demand and run riot all the smegging time (ok, not all, but it feels like it) and it, on top of yet another low point in my own state of mind, is just unbearable.

i HATE myself for hating to be around them. the elder one gtes involved too... but tis mostly the youngest really, and the one he argues most with is the next one up.

am reading alfie kohn on unconditional parenting and i really want to be that parent. and all i am is a goddamn nervous breakdown on legs. they deserve better. im sure theyd all be better off adopted.

Aw BrandyButterGalore sometimes its not fun.

How old are your children ?

Lets see if the collective wisdom of MN can help

my boysare 4, 3 and nearly 2, balr.

thank you for answering.

3 boys under 5 !

Good god woman, no wonder you are run ragged.

OK, have you tried to ignore, ignore, ingore the unwanted behaviour, and 'catch' them being good ?

I only ask this because it's very easy to fall into a negative cycle almost without realising.

Hopefully others will be along too# with more ideas

Don't worry, mine are nearly two and three and it doesnt get any easier. They used to be so angelic.
They seem to have worked out a system whereby they will both be doing something naughty or dangerous at the same time and I have 0 to 3 seconds to work out which one to stop first.

Also before i had children i had a list of things i would never do. A couple of these were:

put them in their room when naughty -well that went out of the window pretty sharpish! I was worried they may associate their room with being bad but they haven't

say 'you can go in there and think about what you have done'

and so on
You have to try different things until you find something effective