Ok, i don't know who will read this, I was 17 when i had my first baby, she was born at 33 weeks 4days, she had to stay in hospital for a long period of time, she got better i took her home and lived with my mother and sister, my daughter got ill after 6 weeks and her right lung was failing. she passed away sadly in Sheffield hospital and her death broke the hearts of many. moving on 2/3 years later. i was 20 when i found out i was pregnant again, i was living in a flat that was provided by a charity called “bradford cyrenians” i left home because the relationship with my mother had broken down and she turned to alcohol and an unstable relationship. so, i was living alone at this point ,i was visited by a social worker in the evening called deborah nelson/keighley social services. from the jump she was very rude and i could sense the energy was completely off. she stated the male whom i was pregnant to had criminal history and it is a safe guarding issue, i already knew this person was in trouble alot in his life, when i got given the place to stay with the cyrenians i stopped seeing the baby father/infact i stopped seeing him before id moved there. we got into an alercation outside my mothers where i charged at him and started hitting and fighting because i learned he had started talking to someone else i was so jealous he hit me really hard across my face and i fainted. i went to the hospital and i said to the workers if anyone comes in asking for me dont tell them i am here, they ended up letting the baby father in! i was so distressed and we fought again because indidnt want to leave the hospital he ebded up leaving and they contacted the social workers. i started getting bombarded with phone calls and texts from the social worker, i became very ill and stressed i had numerous appointments to attend and sometimes would really find it difficult to get there due to lack of finances at the time. i stated this. nothing would be said or done to help me. i would attend meetings and one of the social workers said, your son will need a certain injection due to his race, half pakistani, i said he wont be needing this injection because from the fathers side, none of them have visited pakistan in over 15/20 years. i dont like needles because i watched my daughter have to go through alot of pain with this and it seriously traumatised me. the woman laughed and said”youd rather he has a jab instead of DYING LIKE THE OTHER ONE” my daughter died of natural causes according to the hospital, but i believe it was too much morphine that theyd given her. she was really having a hard time breathing, i dont know if anyone remembers the flu virus that was around in 2015. anyway, i said you know what im not even going to listen to this i calmly walked out of the meeting, on the inside i was screaming and crying from what she had just said i was broken from the loss of my daughter it damaged me in ways ill never recover, i was so scared that the same thing would happen again. times going on im receiving no help i was told i wont be allowed to live with the baby in the property i am staying, there was a family in the flat right above me with two children one a newbodrn, i am a clean freak so there was no issue with mess. i said ok and tried and tried to look for places to live, bare in mind im by my self i have no money my mum isnt being supportive at all, my sister was 16 but she really would do her absolute best for me shes always been like my little number 1 cheerleader lol. i love that girl to death. ok so i couldnt find anywhere, my mum started talking to me again and we was working on it, i went into the hospital at 11pm and gave birth at 2:57am 17 feb 2018. nobody was answering their phone, i rang the babys father and told him Isaiah has been born, he came to the hospital. the next day the social workers called i said im doing ok, the next evening deborah nelson called and said were going to be taking isaiah into foster care until you can find somewhere to live, i said please i cant lose him just let me stay with him, nope. that night i stayed awake i couldnt sleep, hassan came, i said i dont want to stay in this room with all these people theyre going to see the social workers take him wat will they think of us. i tried to ask for a private room i was holding the baby and they blew it WAYYY out of context and tried to say i was trying to ESCAPE the hospital and KIDNAP a baby that my body had just formed for 9 months ?? they took us to a private room asked us questions started being really nice, UNTIL 6 police officers dressed in big black coats not the normal uniform, they grabbed the baby off me and arrested me and the baby father, i cried and cried i was in the cell for over 24 hours. i got home and cried and cried i wasnt trying to run away i was trying to have privacy, my son was taken into foster care, i was allowed two hours/3 days a week to visit in a contact centre, i was so nervous and i knew they were watching my every move, if i mess up here everything might come crashing down. deborah joined forces with one of the most malicious woman i have ever known in my life, syeda ahmed. if i ever felt stupid in my life it was nothing compared to how dumb she made me feel i literally felt like one of those people that stops you to ask for £1 lol. i hated her with everything i had. i tried to be nice and put on a happy face to these people i tried to get along with them and when i thought we were getting somewhere i would be given reports on my progress which was never positive, two workers who wrote good reports were literally transferred to different places to work “Kirk” was so amazing he never made me feel bad we used to go on walks with isaiah and another woman i forgot her name. i have documented alot/ syeda and debbies account was that i am fully incapable. i STILL could not find anywhere to live!! i went back and forth to court the social workers would lie and state i love isaiah but i wouldbt be able to look after him (my sister now has a baby and i literally taught her so much i stayed up did feeds looked after him alot spend alot of time and i realised how false those statements against me was) i was also lied about saying i am still in a relationship with the father which was completely false because no way would i jeopardise losing my son for a man. i abstained from any type of relationship/intimacy throughout the pregnancy and 3 years after he was born. anyway i was told i need to ask a family or friend to step forward to care for isaiah, i had no one i asked if my mum could do it, she has clearly raised children since the age of 16. they said no. i knew i had a brother some where that id never met he had a different mother. my sister searched high and low for this person,we finally found him and his obese wife. everything seemed ok until we met up and he took us back to his home, it was filthy and stunk of dog, they had a cat and dog and there was hairs all over. i said georgia i cant let isaiah go to these people, it was either that or adoption (i wouldnt see him again if he was adopted) the court granted my son to go live with them, i was kind of relieved because i still get to see him. my brother and his wife had been trying for a kid for 9+ years and had no luck so their desperation to be parents was evident. they completely shut me out of his life stated you will only see him once a month for 1 hour, it is now only once every two months, i am not allowed to text call ask how he is nothing. they both hate me for some reason. theyre really chavvy aswel. i only put on a happy face with them too. they say isaiah is distressed when he sees me but my photos and videos tell me otherwise where he is kissing my cheek holding my hands laughing smiling running around, when i hold him he slumps on me and i see a look in his eyes when we have to say goodbye. today i was called a “sket” by the foster carers i have suffered many abusive words from them and been sworn at. after stressful contacts i sit down have a cig and cry my eyes out. no one sees. they teach isaiah to call them mummy and daddy, they want to adopt him and have me out of his life but they wint adopt him because their foster allowance payments will stop. i have moved and i do live stable i have passed my driving just still looking for a job but i am in a much better place financially thank god. i want my son with me more than anything in this whole world. they now have a special guardianship order and i just want to know, is there ANY HOPE for me and my baby, it is so unfair that he is living a lie, he sees me and says my mummy, i told him his name is “mamas baby” i said whats your name he said “mamababy” hahaha he is so beautiful he is GORGEOUS he looks like the spit and image of me though. i have been wronged soooo badly and i need justice once and for all beause i dont want my son to grow up with issues i dont want him to be confused its not fair. i am so sorry for this disgraceful grammar i hope it wasnt too confusing its a mess. i am sorry you had to read all this but please do you have any advice , the amount of solicitors ive been to and no one will take on the case because it is so complicated. ive had enough and i need this to stop before its too late. on e and for all. love and peace to anyone who took the time to read this honestly