Worried about DD - could this be ASD?

[Worryingmama]

Bit worried about our 4 year old DD. She is summer born and has just started school. We are wondering whether her current behaviours are just anxiety - or could suggest ASD or similar.

She has always been “quirky” - some repetitive behaviour with repeating certain words or movements at random. But would come and go and always seemed like relatively normal development. Some sensory things - she likes tight hugs and sometimes presses a lot into my and my partner’s face (we have to tell her to stop). Speech on the slower side (and we still struggle to get much out of her about preschool/ school) but definitely within the range of her peers. These things have come and gone throughout her early years. She is shy but sociable, lots of friends, likes to be around people, will sometimes initiate play as well as follow, can do imaginative play alone and with friends, affectionate, understands emotions and facial expressions match emotions, understands jokes, great sleeper and eater, no issues with changes in routine or location (until school!)

But some of her quirky behaviour has recently become more pronounced/ is escalating - e.g.

• Getting fixed on the word “booby” and saying it at random moments. And generally speaking in slight gobbledegook at times.
• Pulling the same strange expression with her mouth at random moments.
• Completely obsessed by her baby brother’s hands. Wants to hold them, kiss them constantly - we feel it’s actually interrupting her relationship with him as she is so obsessed by it.
• Fixed on the same imaginary game (making a “boat” with cushions and setting out where each of us will sleep in it). Wants to do this multiple times every single day. She will and can play other games (imaginary and otherwise) but always comes back to this.
• Organising - putting all her little toys, papers, trinkets on her desk and floor at night time. There isn’t a particular order but she does have a real compulsion to have to lay it all out.
• We’ve spoken to her teacher who says she’s very quiet in group/ floor time but plays with the children she knows.

We’re worrying about whether these behaviours could signal mild ASD and therefore we should be trying to get her referred or whether they are within the range of normal strange young child behaviour - especially when going through a big transition like school.

Sorry for the mammoth post. Thoughts, experiences etc greatly appreciated!

I'm autistic and have (at least) 2 out of 4 daughters on the spectrum.

The first thing to realise is that boys present quite differently to girls. At this age it can be hard to see social differences. And girls are better at masking than boys.

I'd suggest having a look at the book Aspergirls. It has some lists in the back of what to look for.

With autism, it's the bigger picture. Not individual things. If you feel that she's 'different' then push for an assessment. One if my daughters was nearly 10 before she got diagnosed and had years of teachers shouting at her and not understanding her. I wasn't diagnosed until adulthood and teachers at school would should at me that I'm 'not of this world'

When my daughter was 4ish, I remember that the teachers would say all the children would be getting ready for PE, and she would sit smiling to herself, hardly aware of what was going on!