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What am I doing wrong with my 28 month old?

3 replies

5160Michelle · 26/09/2021 20:06

Ok here goes…

My Son is 28 months old. He is very loving, loves cuddles enjoys being outside and can be very sweet. He is also extremely active, does not sit still, is very strong willed, determined, confident and doesn’t take no for an answer.

Taking him anywhere is hard work, I struggle on my own. I don’t take him to the supermarket as that just ends up a disaster. He will no longer go in the buggy, forcing him in results in him being a magician and managing to get out of the straps, reins he refuses to move at all, he will hold your hand to an extent until you tell him he can’t go the way he wants etc. Then he has a tantrum - will try to yank his hand away and if you don’t hold on hard enough will run off. Distraction doesn’t work. It’s exhausting.

I’ve stopped taking him to anywhere structured because it’s pointless. We literally go to the park and outdoor events. At the park he is a very capable climber, he wants to go on the big kids equipment. I told him to stop whilst I ran around to get him and he decided to just step off the equipment and fell 5ft. Luckily was caught by the father of the child he had just pushed over.

He sleeps 7pm to 6:30am and as he is so active he is exhausted by 12:30 and then sleeps until 15:30. So he is not over tired.

We went to an agricultural event today as he loves tractors. Went on a tractor ride, all the other children sat still enjoyed the ride. Mine was shouting, refused to sit, got bored a few minutes in. He managed to get a piece of rubbish out of my bag and threw it over the side when I had tried to get it back.

Nappy change and getting dressed is also a battle. I’ve tried giving him the choice of sitting down or standing up. Doesn’t work. Usually I just herd him into a corner where he can’t escape and do it as quickly as I can.

He is attending pre school 3 mornings a week. Nappy change is ok there, they’ve said he pushes other child and will hit occasionally. Same as at home.

Food I tell him not to throw it on the floor. He looks and does it anyway. I pick it up without fuss put it in the bin. He gets no more food. I’ve been doing this for months - no improvement.

He rubs cars and wooden toys on the wall. I say “toys on the floor please” he carries on doing it whilst staring at me. I try to play with him - not interested. I give a warning and then remove them - he bites me, goes to the next toy and does the same. We’ve ended up with no toys in the lounge before.

Quite frankly, it’s miserable. I’ve stopped going out as it just isn’t worth the battle. Everything is a fight. We go to the park it’s my child hitting others, we go anywhere that involves a queue (even 2 minutes) or sitting still pointless. Day trips out of the question as he will only sleep in his cot in the dark. Skipping that nap involves 3 hours of screaming where’s he is tired but won’t go to sleep.

What am I doing wrong? All of my friends have kids that sit still, are happy to go in the car for longer than 20 minutes, fall asleep anywhere and are generally compliant. I get the comments of “oh he’s hard work”, “you must be exhausted”. I’ve tried every bloody strategy known to man - I feel like my parenting is constantly judged and that I can’t cope with my own child.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
AladdinMum · 27/09/2021 00:25

How is your communication with him? how does he communicate with you to show you or share his interests with you and to meet his needs/request what he wants?

biscuitlicker · 27/09/2021 02:05

Op you have described my son but mine is 29 months not that it makes much of a difference as he was exactly same last month behaviour wise at 28 months! I'm following your thread with interest and want to read your response to @AladdinMum

5160Michelle · 27/09/2021 08:15

Hi @AladdinMum. His communication is pretty good. He can say three words together now, so he is able to say “more water please” or let me know when he wants a snack etc. For snacks I will give him two choices I.e. yogurt or rice cake. Sometimes I won’t be able to understand what he is asking for, so I ask him to show me and he will point/ take me to what he wants. He loves stickers and drawing, we do this at the table because otherwise he would run off with the crayon and it would be carnage. We build his train track, build towers from mega blocks. He’s able to tell me when he’s finished, wants to get down. I try to do lots of positive praise and save the “no” for serious things e.g. climbing on the window sill etc. I have a firm voice for when I say no, come down to his level.

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