4 year old behaviour regressing. Could it be school or are we doing something wrong??

[JennetHumfrye]

My 4 year old just started at school and after a very promising start where he seemed to love his new adventure, his behaviour has rapidly gone downhill.

I can't say for sure that the two things are linked but can't think what else it could be. My normally very temperate and sweet child has been a terror. It's like the terrible two's again. Some examples include throwing a massive tantrum and running off in the supermarket, purposely wetting himself on the living room floor, pooing himself and telling me to shut up and winding up the dog.

I know kids go through phases but it's never been this bad. Is this a common thing and more importantly does it pass quickly.

Depends on the child. Most children go off a bit when school starts but he sounds extremely stressed if he is deliberately pooing and wetting himself. Yes school is a new adventure but it is also a huge demand and once the adventure wears off the demand stays. With any luck things will calm down as he gets more used to school, but his reaction is extreme enough that I would talk to the teacher and find out how he is coping. Maybe he is just scared and anxious the whole time and barely keeping himself together, and it all breaks down when he gets home. After he's been behaving all week at school having to behave in the supermarket may just be one thing too many.

In the meatime try to make sure he gets enough sleep, and plenty of calm pleasant time at home with you, maybe not doing very much. Watching telly, playing in the garden, listening to a story. Whatever is pleasant and relaxing and undemanding.

Starting school is very tiring, and nobody is at their best when they're knackered. Does he do extra curricular stuff after school?