19 month toddler hates holding hands - road safety

[Tateypops]

Hi all,

I have a very content and happy 19 month year old boy. He walks well now and I’m trying to encourage him to walk whenever he wants. I always take the pram out and sometimes he will hold on to the pram but most of the time he wants to walk without holding onto anything. Whilst this is fine on quiet roads we live very close to the town centre and he really dislikes holding hands, he will refuse to hold my hand and more often than not the pram. I’ve tried to explain that it’s dangerous and give him the option of holding either my hand or the pram but it’s not working. I know you can get toddler reins but I’m not too keen on that idea if it can be avoided. Hoping some other mums have found something else useful!!

Thanks

Why do you want to avoid reins?

We use reins in busy areas, as I'm unwilling to chance a moment of toddler madness, but in quiet areas, I'll tell her that she has to stay next to me or go in the buggy. She's generally pretty good, but it's a no second chances policy – if I tell her to stop or stay close and she doesn't, it's straight in the buggy, as I need her to know that road safety is absolutely nonnegotiable.

Well I’m thinking if getting reins but I just feel like people can be so judgemental about these things - like I’m leashing my child

We've had ours for quite a few months now, and no one's ever commented negatively about them. We have one of the little rucksacks with a single rein which can be clipped on or off, and they come in some really cute designs.

I think the rucksack is more comfortable for her than holding hands for any distance (we hold hands for roads even with the rucksack). Even if I'm holding my hand as low as I can, she still has to hold her arm up quite high, which must get tiring.

Yes I’ve seen the backpack ones - maybe I’ll just get one of those - because as you’ve all said safety is what’s most important and I like the idea of him still having to hold my hand at the road crossing - we only have a few roads to cross so it will be less frustrating for both of us

Another vote for reins! Better to be safe than sorry, I see lots of kids with them. My little girl likes to keep her snack in her rucksack!

I'd just go for reins or buggy. My nephew had them and doesn't seem to have scarred him lol. Once you're confident he might be sensible you can allow some time off the rains under a strict 'one strike and out' policy as pp have put. A car could end his life even going at a crawling pace at this age. It just isn't worth the risk. Sod the judgy parents! Xx

My little boy is 2.5 and is only now coming off reigns because he started to hold my hand just recently. For the past 18 months, we've used reigns for everything. I still take his reigns with me just in case he changes his mind from behaving civilised so I can put him back on quickly.

I don't really like the back pack reigns as I feel I have less control where as the ones with the padded chest feels like I have more grip and more control over plus they have a shorter leash. I've never had any negative looks and people can tell that I needed it by looking at the way my son going in all directions and trying to escape!

Well I’m thinking if getting reins but I just feel like people can be so judgemental about these things - like I’m leashing my child

Personally I'd rather ignore the judgement of a few idiots than have the risk of my DC being hit by a car.

Thanks for all your comments, we ended up getting a turtle littlelife backpack with reins and he doesn’t actually hate it and it’s so much more pleasant going out now and less stressful (still trying hand holding on roads but at the moment this usually results in him sitting down so I let go! )

He looks quite cute with his backpack on and he likes that his toys are inside