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Have preschool Overreacted?

6 replies

bobbycock79 · 17/09/2021 20:27

I have DT's who will be 3 in November. They recently started at a preschool attached to a primary and seemed to have settled in well. Feedback positive from keyworker at end of each day. I am under no illusions , they are a handful and at times I struggle with their boisterousness and wilfulness. At home they frequently bicker between themselves and it often becomes physical but I have put it down to typical toddler/sibling behaviour. Anyway today I was spoken to at pick up by the head of the (entire) school. There was an incident where one of mine (they didn't know who , no adult witnessed it) hit another child. The child couldn't identify which one it was either and when questioned my two blamed each other! This seemed to be taken very seriously with both DT's being kept in the head's office for nearly an hour because they wouldn't say who had done it and didn't seem remorseful either. The head now wants a meeting with me as there are 'red flags' about their behaviour and started talking about assessments, psychologists etc.
I was gobsmacked to be honest. Of course the hitting was not acceptable and needed to be dealt with but they are still 2! and not able to express themselves well.
They have only been at the preschool 3 weeks and as I said no other incidents have been mentioned . Am I right to feel this is a heavy handed approach to two toddlers?

OP posts:
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Kite22 · 17/09/2021 23:47

From what you say, it does seem a very odd approach, yes.
I can't for the life of me understand why this wasn't dealt with by the Nursery staff.

Icewiththat · 18/09/2021 14:27

The Head’s Office?! Seriously?!

bobbycock79 · 18/09/2021 15:42

Yes seriously, I know, I am incredulous too. I guess I will have a chance to ask more questions at the meeting but I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t being unreasonable by being a bit WTF!

OP posts:
DominicRaabsTravelAgent · 18/09/2021 19:19

Is this how they normally deal with discipline for a 3 year old?

Eggcellent29 · 18/09/2021 19:28

Well, from what you write there have been other concerns/incidents according to the Head

BUT their key worker has not been communicating these with you properly.

Which puts you in an absolutely impossible position, because how are you supposed to address any behaviour concerns if you’re not told about them until things reach this point?!

I would request that their key worker be present for this meeting (which she should be anyway) so that these communication failings on the schools part can be addressed moving forward. I would also ask to see copies of all the Incident Forms relating to these concerns, as any concerns/incidents should be recorded AND a copy given to you, the parent.

As for assessments etc….referrals for these sorts of things tend to have a high threshold and, even if they do push for it, it would have to be verified by a third party that there is a legitimate concern.

The Head sounds like a bit of a loon

BananaPB · 19/09/2021 11:20

They have over reacted. What's the point of keeping them in the office for an hour. The one who did it will have forgotten the incident. Head's Office wtf? She must be dealing with these incidents all day every day. I'd be very concerned about nursery staff who couldn't deal with this. They must have had twins before ?!

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