School reported me to the social.

[RedOliver77x]

So my little boy is 5.
I have 6 kids, he is second to youngest. My other kids are really well behaved. My 5 year old is really naughty, he cries all the time. Kicks off. Screams in the bath that Its freezing, (its not) he bites. swears. These are literally just a few things but he controls my whole house. We go out for the day and he walks off and tantrums all day. I have raised concerns with this reception teacher and also told her that said child will not eat properly at home previously. He says everything is spicy. No matter what it is. He lost weight, he puts it back on when he eats again. School feed him extra and he loves the attention. Then comes home and wont eat. Over the summer holidays he refused to est for a while, he lost weight I was force feeding him wheetabix and soup. The doctor couldnt give me an appointment till the end of the summer, by then he had started eating again and has started puttimg weght on. I have also spoken to a social worker before and she had no concerns regarding him.
Since going back into year 1 I have had a call sayin hes lost weight since summer and the nurse would like to rule out anything medical and I need to take him for his bloods. I cant get an appointment at the GP for a few weeks, they said if its urgent the school nurse needs to request them and the hospital have told me not to turn up for bloods and to wait for the GP. This was on friday, if been poorly and missed a call (with no voicemail) and today was then contacted by social services to tell me school have reported me for neglect.
My child complains he is hungry. Hes lost weight and I havent made any attempt to get him medically checked. (I have tried yesterday to call school and leave a message for the nurse but was not contacted back) I'm naturally fuming. Iv spoken to school and they said they had no choice. My other kids are constantly praised for their manners and behaviour. I have never had a issue. They read, do all their homework. Everything that is asked of us by school we do.
So this social worker is coming soon. I'm anxious, I dont even really know why because I know I havent done anything wrong but I'm so upset.
Can a social worker go to school and talk to my children without my consent? And ca they talk to my child doctors without my consent behind my back?
I would never hide anything from them or deny then access but I would rather just be kept in the loop instead of everyone sneaking behind my back.

The headmistresses and the safe guarding teacher who referred me to social have both said today they can see his weight gain and he is happy and energetic at school. So I'm really unsure as to what they are chasing as neglect anyway!

Hi, I haven't been in this situation but a close friend has. Social work and the school didn't tell my friend social work had been to speak to her son but nothing came of it because they soon seen it was the sons issues not my friends. She got help within the school to help him and he's since been referred to CALMS. Try not worry as it'll cause more stress on you. Sorry I couldn't be more help but if you're doing all you can you're doing good. My 3 year old doesn't eat except plain foods and I worried it was my fault. It's not he's just awkward, he also has to be forced to go for a bath. Kids go through terrible stages. They somehow work their own way out of it. Hope you're okay. Having 6 must be exhausting I only have 4 x

The doctor couldnt give me an appointment till the end of the summer, by then he had started eating again and has started puttimg weght on.

Did you go to the appointment? What did the GP say?

What do you mean by force feeding exactly?

I mean spoon feeding him liquid like foods. Not actually using force against him.

The doctor said there was no concerns health wise, referred us to a dietician who I have chased and had no luck with, but as he is gaining weight again it wasnt a major worry as it was a phase with my child eating.

My 5 year old is really naughty, he cries all the time. Kicks off. Screams in the bath that Its freezing, (its not) he bites. swears. These are literally just a few things but he controls my whole house. We go out for the day and he walks off and tantrums all day. I have raised concerns with this reception teacher and also told her that said child will not eat properly at home previously

I'd go back to the GP and ask fir a referral to a Paediatrician. I think that they may need to do an assessment to rule out a medical cause fir his behaviour. Can you film him to show the GO how extreme his behaviour is?

I have recorded him, if shown them videos of him. Iv told them for so long about his behaviour. I asked for him to be accessed for ADHD or anything like that and they said because hes well behaved at school they cant say its medical. Iv spoke to the SENDS teacher at school, the social myself, iv contacted early help and a parent support worker came and met us. Recieved a letter in the post which said after accessing us and my child he is okay.

I feel like noone is taking me seriously and thinks when I say hes naughty hes being a typical 5 year old and playin up now and again. Its exhausting looking for help.

It's simply not true that because he behaves at school it's not medical. That's exactly how many girls end up not being assessed for ASD until they are teen s because they are able to mask in Primary.

I'd post in SN about his quirks and see if anyone in there has experienced similar or knows how to seek help.

What makes you think he has ADHD? Tbh nothing you're describing really sounds like it. There's a fine line between pushing hard for a correct diagnosis and pushing so hard that an innocent child is forever labelled with a condition they don't have when really it's emotional support they need. Have you tried talking to the school nurse or your school about counselling? Have you talked to your child about why he won't eat? I'd make as much different food as possible available to him and feed him if he wants it but I wouldn't make it the source of any kind of drama or discipline or negotiation. I do think if he's losing weight though then there should really be some sort of professional input and I'd push his school and your GP for support. It's a big decision to draw blood from a 5 year old so I'm not necessarily saying that's needed and tbh nobody but a doctor should be mandating that this happens. There are other things that can be put in place though such as dietician referral/counselling. Good luck x x

They did what they thought was best to protect a child they suspected MIGHT need protection. Now they see it wasn't needed. But it sounds like you could use help, and now they social workers are involved you should try and use them to get that help. Try not to see them as a threat. They're not. They might be able to help you directly, or refer you to another service. Right now it sucks because the idea of social services is scary and it's rotten that someone thought your child needed it. Something similar happened to me, but they saw exactly what the situation was straight away, and I too needed help, but not them. I'm getting that help now and I'm glad it happened.

I'm fairly sure they will keep you in the loop.
School have processes that are there for a reason.
It's a horrible position to be in but those processes are there to protect everyone.

With any luck, if you land a decent SW, you might even get some support.

There are a lot of indicators of sensory processing issues there.

My son behaves completely differently at school compared to home. Apparently he eats, drinks, converses with his peers.

At home we have to spoon feed him and prompt him to drink alllll day every day. We have to dress him and bath him and tend to his self care. According to school all of these areas are fine.

Behaviour is exemplary at school. At home we have meltdowns morning and night.

I have been asked for video evidence. I have refused, there is no way that I would film my son in those situations at his highest state of distress and without his consent.

I document everything. Every single last conversation I have with any professional. I time and date it and email a summary of the conversation to the person I was speaking to.

If you have taken him to the GP regarding your concerns. Ask them for a summary letter. If you have spoken to school. Ask them for their summary including action plans. And make corrections where necessary.

Sounds like your son is struggling compared to your other children. Hopefully you can get to the bottom of why and get the support he needs. In my opinion it seems to always be best if school is on your side.

Now sure why the school nurse couldn't do his bloods if they were so urgent? Did she even provide you with a bloods form?

No, I received no blood forms, no referrals nothing. I haven't even heard from the school nurse or school since all this.
A social worker came to see me yesterday, tbh she was useless. She told me the dads name of 3 of my kid, one of which wasnt even my childs name and then asked who the other kids father was, when they all have the same dad. She asked me how his behaviour was at school. I just feel like noone communicates properly and all the information is cross wired. Things she said I approached school about and none of them had any clue where she got it from. So unprofessional..
They asked me for video evidence too, makes me feel like a liar.

There is no support what so ever for parents suffering with behavior. As long as my son looks okay on paper that's all they are bothered about.