Failed

[ruinedalready]

I honestly feel like I'm totally failing at being a mum.
My nearly 2 year old is so behind his peers to the point he can't talk, can't mimic animals and won't even attempt to 'play' with me to learn..
I feel like I just hit a brick wall every day when I try.
My health visitor is pathetic.. hasn't taken interest in anything I have phoned about for help..
I feel like I'm slipping down a rabbit hole of depression and failing my 2yo completely.
I just feel like putting him in nursery every day so I don't even need to try now..
please don't be a twat.. I'm aware it's a terrible way to feel.

Hello @ruinedalready just came across your thread. Don’t be hard on yourself, my DS is in nursery two days a week and it’s a welcome break! Have you spoken to friends/family/GP about how you are feeling? You can’t pour from an empty cup, there are days where I just don’t have the emotional bandwidth to be all singing and dancing and that’s OK, so hair get through and start again the next day. We don’t need to be perfect, just good enough.

I’m sorry that your health visitor is crap, they can be a bit hit and miss. Is there a way to call the duty hotline and get to speak to another HV? You should have your 2-2.5 year check soon (DS just has his) but push for it if it doesn’t come through soon! That way the HV will have to go through your son’s development in detail and escalate anything that needs to be escalated or put your mind at rest.

What I would say though is development, especially around speech, seems to be so variable at this age and can happen in sudden spurts. Is there any history of autism or the like in your family that is worrying you?

I honestly feel like I'm totally failing at being a mum.

You're not failing, it sounds you are trying your hardest without any support

My nearly 2 year old is so behind his peers to the point he can't talk, can't mimic animals and won't even attempt to 'play' with me to learn..

I feel like I just hit a brick wall every day when I try.

ICan have a really good progress checker for speech and language at 24 months. If you do it, it will tell you if you need to seek some further help.

It's also worth getting his hearing checked as things like Glue Ear can slow progress.

I'd also do the MChat as it will give you his risk for ASD.

I feel like I just hit a brick wall every day when I try.

My health visitor is pathetic.. hasn't taken interest in anything I have phoned about for help..

I feel like I'm slipping down a rabbit hole of depression and failing my 2yo completely.

It sounds as though you need some support fir how you're feeling. I'd book a double appointment with the GP. Ask the GP to refer him fir a hearing test and tell them how you are feeling. Talking therapies, medication or a combination of the two should help you get back on track.

I just feel like putting him in nursery every day so I don't even need to try now.

Don't feel like putting him in Nursery, especially if you can afford it. Would it help to put him in for two or three days a week and then plan some things for the other two or three days a week. Not necessarily things that will help him learn, just things that help you through the day like seeing family or meeting friends for coffee/walk around the park.

please don't be a twat.. I'm aware it's a terrible way to feel

And you didn't ask to feel like this, don't feel guilty that you do, just seek the help you need