terrible two's?

[AimeesMum]

Hi. Well, my daughter is about to turn 2 on Oct.22 and i think we've entered the terrible twos!! Dd is very forward for her age, potty trained, speaks very well, can count etc...but we've got one problem...bed time!!! Dd has been sleeping in a bed for about 4 months quite happily. We haven't had a problem going to sleep before, or with waking in the night...until this week. Dd has started crying her eyes out at bedtime, and constatly asking for a kiss and a cuddle so we can't leave the room. Plus she's started waking in the night sobbing too. I'm just not sure what to do about it. I started back at college about a month ago, and have noticed she's a bit more clingy than before, but she seems fine other than that, as it's only a couple of days a week. I just don't want her getting out of her little routine now that she's been so good at sleeping. Her usual bedtime is 7:30pm-8pm and she usually sleeps til around 8am. However it's now taking us til 9pm to get her to sleep. Any advice??

[Clarinet60]

Hi Aimeesmum. No advice, but we have the same problem. DS1 is 3 and 9 oclock would be a good night. Often its much, much worse than that, so I'll watch out for any advice you get with interest. I expect it would be a good idea to nip it in the bud, as ds has just got steadily worse at this.

[floops]

I agree with you Droile about nipping it in the bud - but easier said than done! We have the same problem Aimeesmum. Ds (2.3yrs) has been sleeping well until a couple of months ago. He too is hard to get to bed at what was his bedtime 7:30 - 8:ish and too started waking in the night crying for comfort. Can not eliminate any reason why - no changes in our lives etc. He has spent quite a few nights in our bed (so we can get some sleep and so he does not disturb dd (9mths). However I know that the longer I let it go on the harder it will be to break the habit - unsure myself how to go forward.
It is also harder now as he has reached the age where he can climb out of his cot bed and can also open the stair gates (so no point putting one on his bedroom door).
Sounds like we are all in the same boat - and need someone who has been there before?

[Adelaide]

DS (turned 2 in August) was such a good sleeper until a disasterous attempt to put him in with his elder brother a few months ago. I figure that until then he hadn't realised just how much mileage and attention could be gained by refusing to go to sleep - everything from hysterical screaming (that stops as soon as you go in) to requests for more milk and even totally undressing - nappy and all. The only thing that has worked to make this time easier has been to cut out his daytime nap so that he is too exhausted by 7pm to put up much of a fight. But believe me I'm missing that daytime break!!!!!!!!!

[dcolagirl]

Well guys, ds is 2 yrs 1 month and we have the same. I think he thinks we might not be there so when I hear him start crying, I get up, go give him a hug, put his video on and within 2 minutes he is back to sleep.

Dd is 9 months and has always been good at sleeping (in fact ds and dd both went 12 hours from 7 weeks) but she wakes at about 2.30am and plays in her cot for an hour. This has been happening for a week and ds did the same at about the same age. As long as they are not in a dirty nappy or thirsty (they always have water to hand) I just let them get on with it and the habit seems to break itself eventually. I go see to them if they get really upset but they mostly just go back to sleep.

hth.

[SoupDragon]

Ooooh! My boys must be advanced then - both DS1 and 2 entered the Terrible Twos at 18 months. Bless them. Sometimes it's quite amusing as they were/are both theatrical little darlings - hands thrown up to heads, hurling themselves to the floor.... luckily DS1 didn't do it very often and DS2 isn't too bad. Yet.

Anyway, enough about me... AimeesMum, does your DD have a comfort object to snuggle up to at night? If not, could you infuse a bear (get 2 or 3 identical ones!) with Magic Properties so the bear can be hugged in lieu of mummy? It ay be simply the change of being without you for a couple of days a week. Once she's 100% sure you're always coming back for her, the clinginess should end (I think?)

Talk to your DD about it and see if she can tell you what's bothering her - is there something making a strange shadow on the wall? I've had that one before!! DS1 was v. advanced with his language at 2 and seemed to understand when things were explained to him - he certainly grasped the idea of a baby brother arriving when we explained it to him at about 20 months. He understood the idea of the "last kiss" before sleep time - we used to go back a maximum of 3 times as a sort of game and then were quite firm that it was the last one. He always had a non-spill bottle of water in his bed in case he was thirsty and, of course, his magical Red Ted (of which we foolishly have only one)

I'm just kind of rambling here so I'll stop.

Hope you find the solution soon!

[JaneyT]

Aimeesmum - dd1 now 2.9ms did the waking in the night crying thing a few months ago and slept every other night in our bed for about 2 months - she would cry hysterically otherwise. It seemed to have been triggered by a dog that she has seen next door that barks occassionally, that she was dreaming about.

It stopped by chance on holiday when she couldn't share our bed and I told her that she couldn't sleep with mummy (I have to say I was very stern with her).

A solution for us also has been leaving the landing light on and her door open, which I am convinced has solved the problem as if she wakes in the night and her door is accidentally closed she will cry but then go back to sleep as soon as it is opened.

If she ever does wake now I will stay with her for a while and read to her, but am determined that she stays in her cot, otherwise I know the bed sharing will start again !

[Eulalia]

Maybe she isn't tired. Does she have a daytime nap? Try cutting that down if she does or put her to bed later. I find my son goes to bed much easier if he is well worn out, but not too tired as sometimes this has the opposite effect and he gets hyperactive. I'd guess the crying in the middle of the night is probably just some fears she has and maybe needs more reassurance during the daytime.

[dcolagirl]

I had a great night last night - maybe it was because I'd shared the problem on here!!!! dd (9 months) slept 13 hours, right through, not even a whimper, and ds woke 30 minutes after being put to bed and was scared so must have had a bad cream. I went in, gave him a drink and put my head on his pillow with him, he gave a contented sigh, a little smile, kissed me and went back off. I could have cried, it was so sweet. That was the last I heard from either of them till 8am!

[dcolagirl]

I had a great night last night - maybe it was because I'd shared the problem on here!!!! dd (9 months) slept 13 hours, right through, not even a whimper, and ds woke 30 minutes after being put to bed and was scared so must have had a bad dream. I went in, gave him a drink and put my head on his pillow with him, he gave a contented sigh, a little smile, kissed me and went back off. I could have cried, it was so sweet. That was the last I heard from either of them till 8am!

[Willow2]

AimeesMum - going through exactly this too - except on days when ds doesn't have a sleep during the day. Think the problem is he's not big enough to go without a sleep at some point, but invariably it is happening much later in the day so that he hasn't had time to wear himself out again by bedtime. Toddler Taming book makes the great point that there is no way you can make a toddler that isn't tired go to bed - unless you resort to anaesthetic darts or sleeping gas through the keyhole.

[GillW]

That's my favourite bit in the Toddler Taming book too. Very appropriate for my "powered by duracell" DS (13 months) who seems to have more than enough energy to go from 06.30 until 21.30 with only a half hour sleep after lunch. I do hate the "he should be in bed by now" comments when I have him out with me during the evening, even though he's running around happily and obviously isn't tired.