4 year old won't stay in bed

[crikey456]

My Daughter is 4 years old and she is a bit of a nightmare at bed time.

One of us normally goes to bed with her until she falls asleep and then I will leave the room. She will get out of bed a million times if I leave the room. I wrote on here for advice and got a Tonie box which I know works really well for others. We would put the Tonie box on and say we had jobs to do and would leave the room and she would fall asleep on her own.

After 2 weeks, she started getting out of bed again. She finds it hilarious to keep getting out of bed and knowing you have to put her back in. You can see she really enjoys seeing me getting wound up etc, so I try not to but it still doesn't work. She's very strong willed and she will do what she wants.

I have no idea how to sort this out. I have been up there for an hour before putting her back in bed. She just doesn't seem to get tired. She has a full day in school, goes to the park, comes home and dances around the living room and she could quite easily stay up until 10. Help.

Hello OP,
Just some more info needed .. what’s her bedtime ( lights out ) and wake up time ? Xx

Hi

She will wake up anywhere between 6-7am. We take her up to bed at 730 and she will fall asleep between 8-815.

She has been going to bed later and later recently because we are just wasting our time laying in bed with her. Sometimes for up to an hour.

I have no idea what the right thing to do is. I've thought about reading her a story and attempting to make her stay upstairs and she could play alone for a bit before going to bed. We could Keep lying with her, but I'm worried this is going to go on for years. She just will not stay in her room.

Forgot to say that we also have a 1 year old, so it's a bit more difficult to try and keep her in her room as she will start shouting and making a noise on purpose.

Hello.. I’ve a DC same age as yours and the bedtimes are the same too- he has lights out at 8pm however he gets up at 6am every day ( yes it’s horrible but I’ve got used to it ) .. I wonder if getting her up at 6am for a week to see if that makes her more tired for bed at 8pm will help.
He has a shower/ bath at 7.30 and then 10 min story in bed before lights out. No sugar in the afternoon apart from yoghurts and no little car naps even for 5 mins as will throw bedtime out.
I’ve been through phases like this when he’s played up at bedtime and I used to take control and just say to him that I could see he wasn’t ready for bed and he had to come downstairs and wait in the kitchen very bored whilst I silently did the dishes, no tv and nothing to suggest anything interesting happens after bedtime . After a while they start asking to go to bed as it a better option and I just would make sure that he knew it was my decision if I though he was ready ... then take him up.
However there’s a big difference between kids playing up and kids not being able to sleep because they are over tired or overstimulated and literally can’t soothe themselves to sleep , then they do need abit more help like you are doing ie, getting into bed with them for 10 mins before they drop off but if your at it for an hour and she’s not nodding off then sounds like she’s just not tired enough.
See if early wake ups help xx

I'd keep her downstairs with me until she is really sleepy. She will sit and play or read, doing her own thing, until she flakes out. There's no point in a child going to bed early if they are not ready.