I don't understand dd1, and don't know how to help her.

[WriggleJiggle]

Don't know how to deal with dd1 (19 months) at the moment. I don't understand her behaviour. I don't know how to stop it or change it.

She bursts into tears at the slightest opportunity. Honestly, even when nothing has happened she starts wailing. She cries if I feed dd2 (7 weeks). She cries if dd2 cries. dd2 isn't getting as much attention as she should be getting. But she also shows such great affection to dd2. She is constantly hugging, kissing, tallking about her, and touching her. All in a very 'hands on' toddler sort of way, but definately affectionately.

She was ill last Wed/Thurs/Fri, but apart from the remains of a cold, she is better again now.

I know I've got another day of crying ahead of me as it has all ready started this morning. How can I make her happier?

i expect she doesn't understand her behaviour either. she is only 19 months old and it is impossible to control yourself at that age. on the one hand she is feeling a little angry ad edged out by the baby and on the other hand she wants to love the baby so she is probably in a dilemma. at least she isn't smacking her sister and behaving aggressively which is what I did when my sister was born!

I think you have to be patient and accept that this is a phase she is going through and try to support her. give her lots of love.

what a coincidence i just posted a similar thread here?

She may still be feeling a little under the weather, despite appearing to have recovered from her cold. My DD seemed to undergo a personality transplant after some virus or other - she wasn't outwardly ill but the happy smiley toddler I knew became a weepy, fractious monster for a few weeks.

Also as you obviously know, she will be finding a new baby in your life and your arms very unsettling, it's just not possible for a 19 month old to understand why mummy has 'someone else' in her arms. I think the gap you have is quite difficult in that respect, old enough to be aware that things have changed, but too young to understand - my godson of the same age found it very hard to adjust when his new brother was born - however, you will reap the benefits as they grow older and can play together - my two were 10 years apart and although the jealousy problems didn't surface in the same way, they didn't grow up as companions, even scrapping ones!

She will get used to it, just be understanding (as you obviously are) and try to ride it out, keeping in your mind that things will get better. And don't lose heart - your lovely little girl is still there inside and will come back to you. How nice that she is affectionate to the baby - my godson used to attack his baby brother regularly!

Am having a similar time with my dd1 (20 months). She screams the place down at bathtime, when going to bed, and is so clingy, and frustrated by everything, crying and wailing at the drop of a hat. Car journeys are a nightmare because she just screams the whole time. She has just been ill too so maybe Oenophile is right.
Fortunately our dd2 is 6 months old, and dd1 seems to be ok with her. But when dd2 was little, dd1 did sound very similar ie hugging and kissing her one minute, but crying every time my dh picked up dd2 (dd1 is very much a daddy's girl), I'm sure that will get better for you, but it's pretty hard in the early days, when you feel you can't give either of them enough attention. We ended up bringing dd2 into bed with us when she woke at 5, just so we could give her some cuddles, and we still do now.We also make sure that dd1 has special times of the day with dh, they make breakfast together (messy), and he does bathtime with her, whilst I do dd2.

I hope you have a better day with her today.

Thanks for the repies. I think dd1 probably is still a little under the weather, and perhaps looks more poorly than she looks. She never watches TV - just isn't interested and can't sit still, but I've made a cozy den for her on the sofa with the duvet, favourite bear and drink, and we've just had a lovely cuddle for about 5 minutes whilst watching ITNG . I never thought I'd ever encourage a child of mine to watch TV, but if it keeps her happy ...

I'm sure it's areaction to dd2 coming along. MAJOR life change adjustment for her!

It's lovely that she's so affectionate Imagine contending with toddler assault on a daily basis...

I would just keep giving her loads of attention (knackering, I know). Don't worry too much about dd2 for now, As long as she is warm and well fed all is well in her world

It does pass... dd1's behaviour changed a lot when dd2 arrived. It must totally rock their world!

Congratulations, by the way

DD1 knew the CBeebies schedule extremely well during the run-up to dd's birth (and the couple of months after )

If it keeps them happy and you get to chill for a bit/cuddle the baby/feed etc that's all good!

Thanks, I just feel so guilty that dd2 gets ignored so much. Of course when dd1 was that age, being a PFB, we were constantly talking to her, holding her, playing with her (we as much as you can do with a 7 week old!)

I used to save all the cuddling and staring-at-baby time for when dd1 had gone to bed.

Me and dp used to fight over her then