DS wants daddy all the time... I'm heartbroken!

[asicsgirl]

I know this can't be a new question but... DS (2 and a half) was, until about 2 weeks ago, a darling boy - loving, sensitive to our moods, always free with his cuddles, hilarious and sweet. We couldn't believe our luck. Now, suddenly, he's a toddler. I can just about deal with the meltdowns, screaming abdabs etc over eating/ not eating sandwiches, wanting/ not wanting to go downstairs etc - on good days I even think up something to distract him and we both end up laughing. But what's breaking my heart is that he just wants his daddy all the time. 'MUMMY GO AWAY! WANT DADDY!' 'Daddy put me to bed. Not Mummy'. And when he wakes up in the middle of the night: 'Daddeee... Daddeee...'. THis evening he cried for 10 mins solid in and out of the bath, saying 'Want daddy. Want daddy'. I'm trying to tell myself it's a phase, but it's driving us all nuts, and I feel rejected and unbelievably sad. Any tips for getting through this?

Oh, you poor, poor thing. I know exactly how you feel. My DH and I are both at home with the children (both working from home, allegedly), so DS saw us equal amounts - yet was an absolute 100% Daddy's boy pretty much from the start. He used to scream non-stop if Daddy left the room (and as Daddy sometimes left the room for two hours, this was a lot to cope with, as he just wouldn't stop crying for the whole time); he pushed me away if I tried to comfort him; he was semi-hysterical once in M&S (aged 3.5) because Daddy went to queue up for a coffee, leaving him at the table with horrible old me. That was an all-time low for me (went off to have my own hysterical crying fit in M&S loos afterwards...). I was so desperately miserable at appearing to have produced a child who basically didn't want me.
DH knew how upsetting I found it, and his mantra was always: "Play the long game, and it will be fine", and "don't let DS see that it bothers you, as he'll just do it all the more."
I knew both were true, but it's as hard as anything to carry it through!
However, I did more or less manage to keep my feelings to myself, and concentrated on working extra hard at the things that DS did like doing with me: playing with Lego, making cars fall off tables and such like - a bit tedious, but I did keep thinking 'if I put all this time into making him laugh and want to be with me, it will pay off in the end'.
Whatever the reason, the situation did vrey gradually change. DS is now 5.5 and chooses to do everything with me (the boot is very much on the other foot). He does occasionally still get 'Daddyish' if he's poorly or over-tired, but it's not a patch on what it was, and I now have to work hard to keep the relationship between father and son on track!! Seems incredible, really...
So, yes: however awful and heartbreaking it is now, and however long it may take, things can and will get better in the end, and he will realise that nobody beats Mum!

This is a slightly different case but seemed to work well for us last night. DD1 (3) is sweet to DD2 (9mths) but will not share toys. Last night she was being really mean about it and told us Mummy or Daddy could play with the penguin but not DD2. I just shrugged and raised my eyebrows and said:

'that's a shame, I'm sure she'd share her toys with you if you asked her but she'll have to go to bed without cuddling the penguin now. She'll be very sad.'

About 10 minutes later DD2 crept up to DH and told him it was a shame and she was sorry and wanted to send the penguin to sleep with DD2.

My point is: give them a chance to empathise and they realise they don't really mean it, even at that age. See what I mean?

DH is also the Preferred Parent, but looking at them together, I can absolutely see why.
DH is calm and not that given to discipline - he is great at ignoring bad behaviour as we are all supposed to.
I have started asking him to at least join in when I am having to be firm, otherwise I look like the ogre.
Oh and DH has inexhaustible patience for doing Lego.
I am doomed, really.
DS likes to say "Mummy, do you love me?" Yes, I do, very much. "Well I love daddy better."