3.5yo tantrums. What is normal?

[hemhem]

Just looking for what is within the range of normal expectations for a child that has a lot of tantrums age 3.5?

What type of things would set off your 3.5yo? How long would tantrums last? How would you and DC get out of/end the tantrum?

Thanks in advance

my niece is same age. I would say the main trigger for her tantrums is always tiredness. She is not the best sleeper. Hera are often in the evening before bed or first thing in the morning and the slightest thing can set her off

Hi @hemhem

I remember those days....too well. One of my DC would constantly tantrum, throwing a fit over practically everything I needed them to do. I had to grab a neighbour a few times to stay with them so I could do the school run because they'd take off their clothes and flatly refuse to cooperate. I found a good survival tactic to be to keep in mind that they were learning, it was a phase, and they'd eventually grow out of it. I started a reward jar with rewards for (eg) putting clothes on, and other things that were tantrum-starters, not expecting results overnight but to reinforce the behaviour at a time when it wasn't an issue. I also learnt to walk away when it was safe to do so, and to give small choices (eg what top do you want to wear) to let them feel they were in some kind of control. Also learnt to pick my battles - many times the clothes they chose would make my head spin but it was better than no clothes at all!

Hang in there - it will get easier 💐

Thanks, I know its likely a phase but its very draining. Its 5x a day every day and can be the tiniest thing. Getting dressed takes an hour sometimes. Offering choices is met with a no to everything offered. Choosing for DC is even worse. This is my second so DC1 has to sit through them all as well and its no fun for anyone. Its been like this for about a year now.

I totally get how draining it is...hugs all round 🌹

for her minor sure the stars in a jar thing is really working I suppose to a point but if she is tired nothing stops her

occasionally my sister can head them off and distract her but yes can be very draining didnthave them at age 2 but now....at age 3 yikes

@hemhem

Just looking for what is within the range of normal expectations for a child that has a lot of tantrums age 3.5?

What type of things would set off your 3.5yo? How long would tantrums last? How would you and DC get out of/end the tantrum?

Thanks in advance

Well I can’t comment on what’s normal but I’ll just tell you about my 3.5 yr old. He started having tantrums about a year ago ( when he dropped his daily two hour nap) . Tiredness is a trigger.. he is great in the mornings and for the first part of the day but afternoons are a nightmare. He doesn’t nap anymore, he goes to bed at 7pm but 4-7 is a long three hours for the family! Things he gets annoyed about: laying out the wrong pyjamas, wrong plate/ cup etc, brushing his teeth, the idea of going to bed ( but once upstairs in his room he loves his bedtime routine). As I say tiredness is a trigger as none of these things bother him at other times of the day. Hope that helps!

Some reassurance, my 3.5 son is the same. Its been hard lately and especially with the new change of starting nursery school. He has some delayed speech and language too. I find every once in a while they go through a growth spurt and leap developmentally, so their sleep is disrupted , they are tired and emotional.
He is mostly a happy chilled out little boy so when he goes through phases like this with tantrums its difficult. I just try make sure he gets enough sleep. They dont call it the threenagers for nothing!
Some days picking your battles is ok and get the balance right with what works for you both, without spoiling him too much and also keeping boundaries.
Hugs to you