You asked why DS didn't take to nursery. Well, primarily because as far as DS and I were concerned it was a rotten, depressing and VERY high stress place.
Don't get me wrong; I did my research. They had one of the most glowing Ofsteds I've ever seen, only a few months before DS joined. The staff were highly experienced, very skilled and in post for a very long time, on brand new purpose built premises. Had several parental recommendations. Food was lovely (I tasted it) etc. etc. I was very impressed with the individual staff members' playing and singing with the children. It's just there wasn't enough to go around.
It was a totally CR*P environment for an 11 month old, - no real quiet space anywhere, children crying at drop off and pick up times and it stank of nappies. One child always cried when he woke up, so no member of staff wanted to get him up and he was just left to "get over it" The staff just couldn't give the attention he needed at a 1:3 ratio and he had separation anxiety incredibly badly.
I then had a childminder who was rather better. If I'd started with her I may have gone back to work, but I still needed to compromise my principles more than I cared to. E.g. she thought it acceptable to go out to lunch with her husband and leave my DS sitting in the buggy the whole time, when he'd be perfectly lovely sat up at the table eating with them. She actually dumped me after three weeks because DS demanded too much attention from her. (He is an intense child it's true, but a delight with it)
He just seemed slightly (at nursery VERY) sad and stressed at the end of a session and I wasn't prepared to put him through that for the sake of my pathetic career.
I have come to the view that nurseries are pretty stressful places for little ones. Hell, it's a bit like working in an open plan office, but also having to have your lunch breaks etc. with the same people as well. And not enough leadership (i.e. adult interaction) to stop situations before they escalate.
Sorry, this is a bit of a waffle. I had always given DS as much of my attention and best parenting efforts as I was able. It has made him fantastically secure, alert, lovely and pretty well behaved. I saw all this disappearing when I put him in to childcare. This is not to say this is what happens to all children in childcare, but for my DS it was definitely second best.