My beautiful 2 1/2 year old boy. Could be be slightly delayed?

[gemloving]

Hello everyone. I have a 2 1/2 year old boy and I know comparison is the thrived of joy but i always feel like he's behind his peers.

Today we saw all of his NCT mates, 3 girls, he's got a bestie next door and another 2 girl friends that are 1 months younger each. All of these children are the same age as my son, give or take a month.

You can have full conversations with all of them and my DS just started answers questions and telling us things himself, even his receptive language seems quite behind as when I give quite specific instructions whether this is in German or English (he grows up bilingual), he doesn't quite understand it. I would say in the last 6-8 weeks he started remembering things, so we've gone to the park and he tells us about it, what did you have for breakfast, he can tell us that or we tell him in the morning we are going to the park in the afternoon, he tells us: Park later. He knows colours, can count to 10 and has recently been potty trained, he can run really fast, climb well etc so

I am not even sure what I am getting from saying this but I feel like just writing it down helps me and getting it off my chest. Generally, he's a loving, happy boy and I couldn't love him anymore. Today, the difference just seemed so very obvious.

He sounds so lovely OP!

I'm in the same boat as you. My little boy (25 months) has been consistently behind all his friends the same age (we've met quite a few via NCT and local playgroups). No matter what the milestone he's always the latest to hit it. They say don't compare but it's difficult not feel sad when yours is left behind.

He always 'got there in the end' despite my worries that there's something wrong at each point. Having said that there's now no difference in walking for example between him who walked at 16 months and the toddlers that walked at 10 months.

The current worry is his lack of speech. We have the odd animal sound and word approximation versus friends talking in sentences. Just started speech therapy and I'm feeling very positive!

@HeyDuggeesFavouriteSquirrel thanks for your response. I wasn't even that concerned about speech at that age but we were in full blown pandemic central then and we didn't see anybody (January born).

I didn't know they'd do speech therapy that early but it's good he's getting it xx He does speak in short sentences now. Yesterday he said: lunch on the sofa upstairs please? I regretted that he was allowed that once 😅😂

I suppose we've just got to see and wait. He's so sweet to his baby brother as well (he is 4 months) & shows his so much love and affection) xx

Honestly, he sounds fine. It can take bilingual children a little longer sometimes.

It's hard op. My DS is almost 3years and is behind developmentally in both speech and gross motor skills. If you're worried speak to your gp or hv. We were referred for speech and physio which has reassured us somewhat. The most important thing is you try and enjoy him for him. He sounds a sweetie. Cherish your time together as before we know it they will be teenagers!

I though most bilingual children started speaking after their peers who only learn one language?

By all means self refer fir a hearing test and speech therapy but I'd also have a look in the Multicultural Families section on MN

My DS almost 2.5 is also bilingual and is behind plus not potty trained. I have written a thread the other day if you want to take a look at my concern as there are a few responses from other users. I don't mean to hijack your thread btw. I just hope it's a bilingual factor.

Not to know much about Asd in toddlers? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/thirtydayss_only/4333511-not-to-know-much-about-asd-in-toddlers

@mondler I am glad they take you seriously and your little one gets support.

I don't think my GP or HV would take me seriously quite yet as he's not far behind enough if that makes sense? I personally don't think speech therapy would help given he does speak and does understand what I am saying, however I don't think it's quite age appropriate - no physical delays.

I absolutely enjoy and adore him. I wouldn't change him for the world, just have that niggling feeling something isn't quite right.

@DominicRaabsTravelAgent I don't even want to self refer as I do think he's learning, just at a slower pace.

@talkmethrough I have read your post and my child was the easiest baby and toddler and still is easy compared to other peoples experiences in terms of tantrums. I don't own reigns and never felt like I needed them.

He's very active but sitting down activities are getting better (slowly but surely). He loves play dough, pretend play (loves to make us tea and dinner time is a big thing), loves his cars, police and fire trucks. I encourage to read (he's not naturally very interested), to do puzzles and play with Lego. I don't think it's ASD, if anything ADHD or ADD. I did mention it to my HV was somewhat laughed at, so I'm not keen on my HV.

Honestly I think he sounds fine, especially since he is being brought up bilingual. Have you looked into how that might have affected initial speech?

@TeenMinusTests I did speak to my HV and she said there should be no difference in terms of receptive language, spoken language, one is just more dominant usually and the other one catches up (that was the advice). He does understand both languages, just not to the degree I would say he should. I speak to him a lot, he does go to nursery so English is a lot more dominant. TV time in our house is limited to 30 minutes a day.

He's getting better at everything, it's just that I really noticed the difference between the girls and him yesterday.

Just to say: I do enjoy him, he is who he is. I just thought: maybe someone on here had a child who was a bit behind but caught up or was later diagnosed with something. I spoke to two universities lectures yesterday and he said, if the mother went to university, the child is very likely to go to university and I genuinely thought: I don't care whether he goes or not, as long as he's happy and earns a living doing something he's hopefully enjoys.

@talkmethrough I accidentally pressed send. Where our children are the same is when placed into an unknown situation or meeting strangers. He hides and wouldn't let go of me but he's loud and crazy at home and in familiar situations. Maybe we should stay in touch and see how it all goes because I suppose, time will tell. I have a 4 months old at home as well. It'll be interesting to see how he develops and if there is a noticeable difference.

I don't think he sounds behind at all. My daughter is the same age and sounds very similar. She couldn't answer questions about what she had for breakfast. I feel that's complex for a 2 year old, although some children obviously could answer it. She is able to answer yes or no questions, if I give her a choice of two items, she will answer which one she would like. She can answer questions such as 'what's that?' or 'where is...?' and 'what is he doing?' when pointing at people in books etc but that's about it. I've no concerns at all. She's a good talker, very clear, she puts lots of words together and she asks questions herself.

There is a wide range of what is considered normal. I'd say my daughter is within that range somewhere.
She is 3 in January and not bilingual. I think they must be a similar age. Btw, she seems advanced compared to the other children her age at the groups we go to. Try not to compare as you could sit with a totally different mix of kids, and he would be doing well in comparison!

@CP2701 that's quite reassuring. Maybe all the kids in NCT and around me are rather advanced.

Yes definitely let's stay in touch as I'm interested to see where this will all lead to. I'm hoping it's an bilingual and personality factor in my case. I'm 3 months behind you I'm guessing age wise if your ds is born in Jan and I'm hoping he catches up as he doesn't respond to yes or no answers at all and not sure if he even understands them. Again it's all eye contact, pointing, gestures and words he is saying but when I ask him something directly, he just looks at me. Maybe it's me that I don't talk to him as much as I should? Or that I'm guilty of using screen time more these past few months to get things done around the house so he can stay tuned and not follow me around as he is so attached and needy, I don't know 🤷🏻‍♀️