Don't know how to help ds with his aggressive problems.

[worriedmum34]

Ds is having real difficulties in mixing and socialising with other children.
He pushes, hits and doesn't know how to share.
He goes to nursery while I work and the staff report back how often he has hurt other children.

He stands out from all the other children his age.

He went though a stage of biting earlier on in the year, but I tho9ugh that it had stopped, but yesterday he bit another child, and again bit dh tonight.

While we are on our own he is lovely, but the minute another child (older, younger or the same age)trys to play with him, or even if we walk by another child in the street he hisses/growls or hits out at them.

I'm scared he'll be asked to leave nursery, and his friends (well, their mothers) are beginning to show signs of not wanting to play with him anymore.

I've been in tears today as he quite badly hurt my friends little boy, and the mother - quite understandably was very upset too.

Just don't know what we can do to help him. We don't argue in front of him, have never smacked him, or hit one another.

He's 2 and a half btw

how are nursery dealing with it?

it sounds very upsetting for you - has there been a trigger at all?

Nursery are dealing with it by using timeouts, but no real trigger - it's just the way he always has been.

do you do the same at home?

MN is quiet tonight as lots of people are at a meet up

keep this bumped and hopefully someone will be able to help tomorrow

Thanks for the suggestion Rubyslippers.

We took ds to soft play today, just to watch how he interacts with other children, and he does just push and hit out at other children.

As soon as he does this we leave. We had to leave a party last week for just the same thing.

Any other suggestions tonight?

Yes we are doing time out at home too - but as he's an only child, theres not really any areas of conflict as such.

.

at the same age my ds was the same. He would tell me he wanted everone else to go home if we were in a shop, If anyone came close he would say "i dont like him/her tell them to go home. If we were walking down the street he would want to croos the road or want other people to cross so they didnt pass us. Ds didnt go to nursery but i did take him to play groups, there was one girl he would play with, but still didnt like shareing. I was very consirened about him starting nursery at 3 and told the staff about his behaviour. From him starting he started to grow out of it. I also spoke to health visitors, they said he was just unscure and he would grow out of it which he did. Try speeking to your health visitor or doctor or if you have sure start in your area try them, they are realy helpfull too.

Thankyou BABY2.

I wonder if it's because I work full time, and have had a few cm/nurseries before settling on the nursery we use now.
Maybe he doesn't feel secure.
I'm wondering if I aught to give up work?

If you feel like you should stop work, could you not work part-time? And do you have any consirns (spelling?) about his child care he is in now? And how long has he been they, he could settle in soon enough. Unless the staff have pulled you aside and told you they are worried, i wouldent be to quick to leave work.

He's been there for about 10 months now - plenty of time to settle down.

Just thinking if it really is in ds's best interests that I work.