4 year old self harming - worried please help!

[JenT]

DS1 in the last couple of weeks has had awful behaviour - he has had a stinking cold and isn't sleeping well. I have been as gentle as I can but there have been times that no has meant no. He is having massive paddies again and saying "if you don't let me do (whatever), I will hurt myself" I ignored him a few times but then have noticed him pinching himself on the stomach and twisting the little piece of skin, he has 4 or 5 little bruises there now.

I want to ignore it and trust that it is a phase like the many others that we have encountered in the last 4 years, however, I don't want to do that if in essence there is something deeper that needs dealing with.

Arrrgghhh which way to turn? Also don't want to speak to healthcare professionals yet. Not sure if I can rationalise why though.

anyone - sorry to sound desperate!

anyone - sorry to sound desperate!

Hmm, I'm no expert, but my four year old went through a phase of this. I felt uncomfortable with it, wondered if it was serious, but it seems to have passed. Both of mine have a rather melodramatic streak in them, so I decided to treat it as I would any other manipulative behaviour - ie tantrums - and ignore it, whilst keeping an eye on the situation to see if it continued.

HTH.

No sure if I can help?

Maybe he has lots of energy now because he has been unwell and needs to work it off and doesnt know how to do this?

Keep him busy/active and he will be so tired and knackered?

thanks for that.. I want to believe it is a phase, anything else is just a little freaky.

The other thing that has been going through my head is that when he started nursery he got alot of attention because a special needs child in the group was hurting him alot. (drawing blood most days!)

My concern is that now all that has died down he is missing the extra attention. am I over analysing it?

xposts cheeset he still is poorly stinking cold and not sleeping so not alot of energy and definately more tetchy than normal.

He sounds angry, maybe he wants to see how his anger feels? does this make sense?

I'm sure he is fine, maybe you feel bad about saying no?

think you're overanalysing, ignore it and see what happens.

give him time to work it out his system. if hes doing it in front of you its attention not self harming tendancies thats done in private and kept hush hush.

Thanks all... will stick with what I was doing.. sometimes I just need a little reassurance.

Call your health visitor. They might be able to recommend someone who can help

He sounds fine to me, just probably feeling crabby because he's tired. Don't worry.