DS has just turned 5. It often feels like everything is a constant battle with him and I don't know what to do to make a change.
For example today:
He wouldn't put his tablet down and come and eat breakfast. Had to physically take it from him.
Had to dress him as he would not do it.
Refused to leave the house then ran off down the garden rather than get in the car to go to his holiday club.
Refused to get out of the car and put his waterproofs on to go to holiday club. I had to physically pull him out and manhandle him into his clothes.
Collecting him from holiday club he refused to sit in the car seat to go home. I tried really hard not to end up in a physical wrestling match like in the morning - tried chatting and giving him some connection, and walking away for some minutes and ignoring him. Eventually told him that I had been planning to take him for a treat but had changed my mind. Cue floods of tears. He told tried telling me I 'had' to treat him to cheer him up (a suggestion that got very short shrift).
When he eventually calmed down I talked to him about how frustrated I was with him refusing to do as I asked and how it upset me too to be fighting with him rather than enjoying a nice treat.
10 minutes later we got home and I asked him to go and was his hands: "Never!" More tears. He had apparently washed them before leaving his club.
Again refused to put down his tablet and come to the dinner table. It had to be taken from him.
He refused to answer a question about what he had done during the day. Just ignored that he had been asked.
Every day is the same. I try to use natural consequences but the consequences seem to be that we end up physically forcing him to do what we want, which doesn't feel great.
His school and clubs haven't noted anything too out of the ordinary in terms of behaviour. He finds it very difficult to engage with a task that he doesn't find interesting but he isn't so defiant as when he is at home.
Any ideas? It's making both me and DH so frustrated with him.