Have had a pretty good week but

[NAB3littlemonkeys]

I lost control this morning. The kids knew I wasn't confident or in charge and DS1 was especially rude and cheeky and I am cross and ashamed that I smacked him.

Please help me regain control. Had been proud of myself as well.

Anyone?

NAB3, you're only human, just like the rest of us, we all have our bad days. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Look on the bright side ie focus on the pretty good week.

I was just thinking that I hadn't seen anything along of the lines of 'I'm not coping' from you for a while.

Apologise for losing it with you son and put it behind you.

Same today. isolent, answering back, no idea what to do. Just had some terribly sad news too and just want to curl up and cry.

I'm sorry to hear this. There's only so much we can handle calmly. Most important thing as far as your DCs are concerned is to make sure your they don't think you are said because of them.

Though know the news now but I am also sad because of their behaviour. Isn't it right they know that they make Mummy sad when they are very naughty?

Funny you should ask that, it's something I have been giving thought recently as DD (3 next week) keeps asking me if I am happy, particularly if I am obviously cross with her or DS.

Right now I am thinking that ones DCs shouldn't be made to think that they are responsible for your happiness. Saying that very naughty behaviour makes you sad seems to be a big burden to lay on them.

But I also think hiding your feelings is not a good example for them.

At the moment with DD I am saying 'I am not sad or happy right now. I'm irritated/disappointed/upset that DS has

Mine are a bit older and I think the 6 year old is old enough to know.

Old enought to know there is bad news that has made mummy sad? I agree with that.

Or old enough to know that his behaviour has made you sad? I'm not sure sad is the right word.

I'm not very good at wording this sort of thing but I bet someone really eloquent will come along and say exactly what I'm trying to say. Maybe not tonight though!

BTW, I'm off to bed now.

NAB, I'm not at your stage yet (little one only 13 months) but I'm pretty sure there will be days when I'm ashamed and lose control. Have certainly had lots of "could do better" days already! It's hard to be calm all the time, especially when something else has made you so sad.

I think your son should probably know he has upset you - upset is maybe better than sad for his behaviour.

Deep breath - today's almost over and you can put it behind you and start again tomorrow.