A bit of background; we're a bedsharing, pretty gentle parenting family. DS1 managed some sleeping in his own cot until daddy got covid in feb and I solo parented the isolation period at which point he came back to our bed as he felt left out and now doesn't want to return to his room. We are fine with him in our room.
I'm at my wits end. He's 3.5 and wakes at 5am or earlier every day. He's never been a good sleeper only sleeping through really since 2.3 and always waking early. He has only dropped his nap in the last few months. About once a week needs a catch up nap where we drive somewhere at like 9am and he nods off in the car (absolutely will not nap at home). If he wakes anything past 12 he won't go to bed until gone 8.30pm.
The problem I'm having is that more and more he WILL NOT go to sleep even thought he is tired. Sleepy happy content tired or absolutely shattered tired. Today he was awake at 4.50am(!), been at nursery all day no nap and has only JUST gone to sleep. He has a long day at nursery I don't collect until around 5.30 because of work and I try everything to connect and wind down afterwards but on a really good day its still 7.30/8 before he's asleep. He is really ratty and grumpy a lot of the time and I know he needs more than he's getting. I've tried everything from gro clock to blackout blinds to help with the early waking to no avail.
We also have a 17m DS2 old to try and care for who wants me a lot of the time (am bf) and at times I can hear daddy trying to comfort my DS2 as he is tired whilst I am helping DS1 get to sleep (or not). He has also become a lot more clingy to me and wants me for EVERYTHING recently. He freaks if he isn't asleep by the time DS2 needs bedtime feed and gets mummy.
I'm probably waffling but I need some insight or ideas on how to cope. DS2 often isn't ready until around 7.30 to go to bed so times clash if DS1 isn't asleep by then and it all kicks off. I'm struggling to remain calm, especially as my DS2 is teething and waking up so much in the evenings. DH and I are trying to tag team getting the dog walked dishes done toys shoved to the side let alone anything else!!
We have no family support and DH works condensed hours so all mornings are down to me and evenings are a tight turnaround when he gets back from work.
Sorry to go on am sat in tears feeling so alone. I'm starving hungry haven't had dinner yet and now DS2 has woken up.