Hello, can anyone give any advice about helping my 4yo dd and her tantrums.
She has a million wonderful and lovely good points that I won't list here as there isn't space, she is completely brilliant, funny, kind and bright and chatty girl and we love her so much.
She cannot deal with the wind blowing on her, sand being on her after the sandpit or beach, being too tired and being told she needs to carry on walking or the sound of hand driers in bathrooms. Any of these things as well as other situations we haven't predicted can and will set off a distressed, screaming, shouting meltdown that takes cuddles, time and lots of reassurance to bring her out of. Any firmness or ignoring at that point would result in extremely loud and intense ongoing screaming.
She does not like food to touch each other and will often not start eating or take twice as long as everyone else at a meal time. We cuddle her to sleep and she has generally slept through since age 3.
She doesn't like coats, waterproofs, long leggings, long sleeved tops, sock seams not being straight or any restrictive clothing. She can't deal with being at all hungry or tired or with someone being a bit cross or impatient with her at all and any of these things might lead to sobbing, screaming, stamping feet, shouting and recently trying to hurt herself eg pulling at her hair or biting her own finger or hand which I find worrying.
She saves the tantrums for us and sometimes melts down literally as she comes through the front door when she's tired. She didnt seem to do this at preschool, this means that they haven't seen her when she's behaving like this so it's hard to have a chat about it as they just haven't seen it. Her 2 year old sibling is so chilled in comparison and has had the odd minor tantrums but nothing that compares.
Does this sound in the realm of normal? Does anyone have any experience with similar dc or thoughts or ideas on what else we should be doing? I don't know whether I should be seeking extra support and assessment/ being stricter and giving bigger consequences after a tantrum or carrying on being calm and supportive in the hope she probably won't be having tantrums at age 25. She's finished pre school and is starting school in a few weeks.
Thank you for getting this far!