Miserable baby 😔

[Littlepip02]

Hey everyone, don’t really know what I’m hoping to get out of this but I don’t really know where else to turn.
I’m a first time mom to a beautiful little boy who I love so much but from the moment he was born he has always been difficult, before anyone else says all babies are difficult I completely understand that but everyone who meets my little boy agrees with me.
He’s now 8.5 months old and he did suffer with colic/reflux from 2 weeks old, all he did was cry for 12 hours a day, everyone said he would just grow out of it at 3 months/6 months and so on but this just never happened for me.

Obviously the colic passed but I’ve never known a more miserable baby in my whole life, I literally feel like I can’t leave the house with him, he’s so fussy all the time, I’m scared to death of taking him anywhere socially because all he does is moan and cry and have such terrible meltdowns. Hes always so ‘uncuddly’ too so a lot of the time I don’t know whether he wants to be picked up/put down or god knows what else.

I do take him out daily as much as I really hate it but nothing ever seems to get better, he’s never happy for more than 5 minutes, i feel like I’ve literally tried everything possible to keep him happy, I try and give him my constant attention but it’s just never enough.
It’s my nieces birthday party tomorrow and already now I’m dreading going because I know he will scream the whole day, I’m honestly so fed up and drained with the whole situation I could just sit here and cry right now.
I’ve read up about high needs babies and he does fit every single trait on there, they all seem to say it’s just his personality and he will eventually grow out of it but I don’t know how much longer I can go on for like this 😔
Has anyone else had experience of their babies being like this? Will it ever get any better?
Thanks in advance for reading if you have got to the end x

Has he been seen by a GP? Any signs of pain anywhere?

He is still on reflux meds, been seen by multiple GPs and I took him private too, he was the one who diagnosed the reflux and prescribed Omeprazole after months of fighting.
I just don’t feel like the medication has really made any difference to him being irritable, it did take away the pain after feeding etc. He has got around 7 teeth now so I thought that added to it, but it doesn’t seem to be getting any better.
I took him out today and he was a nightmare, he always improves a little when I get home with him which makes me think it’s not pain related?

Oh you poor thing, are you getting proper breaks? Do you have a partner and if so are they doing their fair share? A relative who can look after him for a couple of hours?

Yeah, I’m very lucky my family are lovely and would take him whenever I ask it’s just I feel
so guilty leaving him when I know how difficult he is I know that sounds so silly.
& yes a lovely partner but he just works long hours that’s all which can’t be helped but he helps a lot when he’s home.
I have a few friends with babies the same age and they always seem so happy I just wonder where
I’m going wrong 😔

Honestly. Take the help, because it’s so hard. People will want to help you so Don't feel guilty. My first little one moaned from 4 months to 7.5 months until he crawled. It was so stressful. I promise you he will get through it, But it’s just so hard to see that when you’re right in the thick of it. You’re doing a great job xx

My DD was particularly miserable, awful reflux, always suffered trapped wind etc. She got better once I got her sleeping better during the day and when she learned to crawl at 10.5 months.

Is he crawling yet? They do get very angry whilst learning a new skill. Does he sleep okay? Could be overtired.

It gets better. Mine was an utterly miserable baby for most of his first year as well. The soundtrack to our day was anything from whinging to full blown crying. He was reflux-y but to be honest, I think it was/is his personality as opposed to anything medically wrong with him.

He’s now nearly 15 months - he’s still feisty, not at all chilled out and still prone to massive meltdowns none of my friend’s babies seem to have reached yet…but since he could communicate more and most crucially, walk, he’s become so so much more happy. He struts round our living room or garden giggling and chatting to himself now. I would have never, ever thought that possible. My DS seems to crave stimulation but has no off button, he used to become very easily overwhelmed at big events too. I can report now though he is completely fine at nursery and the staff there say he is a pleasure and loves getting involved with all the activities.

I HATED people saying ‘it gets better’ but, as long as you are happy there is nothing medically wrong with him, it honestly does. And the bonus bit is I am finding these pre-toddler months a breeze compared to my friends with ‘easy’ babies, as anything feels better than his first 12 months.

Take the help if people are offering. It might help him having a change of scenery/a different adult to talk to for a bit. And they might find it easier to deal with as they haven't had it all day!

Try not to compare yourself to others. Instagram is particularly bad for this, I struggled with people posting their lovely dressed up baby in white and everything so neat when mine was a vomity mess all the time. I know it's just a snapshot but it didn't help me.

Please don't be hard on yourself, it's tough!

@Vicky1989x he is attempting to crawl now, he’s 8.5 months he’s getting on all 4s just going backwards, definitely agree though he’s getting so frustrated not being able to get where he wants, he’s not a baby that likes sitting on people’s laps
If you know what I mean lol. He does sleep well during the night and has just started napping a lot longer in the day but doesn’t seem to have made much difference to his mood unfortunately, but I’m grateful for the breaks if nothing else lol.

@AliceW89 that’s so nice to hear, I am happy there’s nothing medically wrong to be honest. Your little one sounds just like mine, literally could of wrote all that myself so you have definitely given me some hope you know when you feel like you can just never see that day they are the happy and smiley child that’s running round? I know that sounds silly lol.

@StarDrawers agreed! Instagram is awful, my boy was exactly the same, covered in sick 24/7 I just felt so rubbish when I saw everyone with their perfect babies, but I suppose they only show what they want you to see.

Thanks for all your kind words, you’ve definitely given me some hope that it will get better in time x

Oh I feel for you. I've been there. My first baby was like that. Soooooo miserable and I hated things like birthday parties etc. I really hated looking after him actually. He did have suspected dairy allergy and some tummy troubles but I think a lot of it was just his personality. He was always angry and frustrated.

BUT he's now almost 3 years old and honestly he's amazing. He's strong willed still, stubborn and determined. But he's also one of the happiest toddlers I know, and everyone comments on his cheerful disposition. He had tantrums when he was just turning 2, but those are few and far between now. I love taking him out now. I wish I could give you a solution but mostly it's just wait it out and make it as easy as you can for yourself. It really does getter. My son got happier with every milestone, especially crawling and walking. He was definitely much easier at 10 months when he started crawling and from around a year old he was a delight. He got easier and easier. But yes, the majority of the first year of his life was awful.

By contrast, his little brother was an incredibly easy baby. But then he got so much harder as he got older as he got more demanding! So the good thing is you will probably appreciate your baby's toddler years more than most people... lots of my mum friends moaned that their easy little babies were becoming difficult but I was just relieved mine was getting older and easier!! :)

PS definitely don't believe the 'perfect little baby' thing from other people. If you looked at my Facebook page you would think my son was a lovely happy easy little thing, and that we were loving life and the best parents ever. Ha! It couldn't have been further from the truth!!

@surreygirl1987 thank you so much for that, it’s so nice to hear that you had the same experience, as i feel like no one else’s kids are like mine! He’s attempting to crawl now but going backwards so I’m really hoping when he masters this he gets a little happier.
I also had the same tummy issues/suspected dairy allergy but it was all ruled out really and I do think it’s just the way he is. It’s so lovely to hear your son is so happy now, I really hope the same happens for me

Haha oh the crawling backwards phase. Both of mine went through that and were SO ANGRY! I promise it gets better once they figure out how to go forwards.

And honestly, for the first 8-10 months of my oldest boy's life I thought I had a monster on my hands! But I swear in a year or two you'll be looking back realising it went in a blink of an eye. I look back at photos sometimes and have very mixed emotions... on one hand I'm sad I didn't enjoy the baby phase and just wanted him to grow out of it (he was cute as well as angry and miserable!) ... but also - I would NOT want to relive that time for anything, and I feel proud of getting through it! You will too, and you'll probably reply to mumsnet posts like this, telling mums about your difficult baby who ended up lovely :)

@surreygirl1987 thank you so much you really have given me some hope it’ll get better x

It really will x