2yo refusing to go to bed, up until 9

[itscomplicatedlife]

Have seen quite a few threads last few days of others in the past having similar issues as above. To recap, extremely active 2yo girl, goes to nursery 5 dpw, was napping there 1.5 hrs until 2, have stopped this asked for 30 mins but her sheets been saying 45, hasn't changed the time she goes to sleep, it is still 9-9.15pm! We are knackered, me & dp don't have time to sit together anymore as we have had a major
Issue with her going to bed! We do the usual
Wind down, bath 6.45-7.15, blinds down calm the show from 7.30 onwards, we try and take her up to her room around 8.15 but she screams the place down, we've tried soft lights and soft music, placed a few books in her bed but no screams holy hell and as partner can't cope with the noise she ends up bk downstairs which really annoys me as i think she knows she's getting her own way! He thinks it's better to not bother trying to get her to bed semi awake and just let her sit up until she goes
To sleep but we have to watch moon & me as anything else she just sits up gone 9 wide awake! Abs fed up, knackered and have a part time request at work going in as I'm just knackered and feel like I have no life at all, me and husband have drifted apart and have discussed seperating as we have no life, every nihht it's sitting in the dark until 9. I just wanted to leave her in the cot and do the nip in reassure and make it longer each time method, but DP doesn't agree! Sorry long post

I need to add also that our LG is so militant and stubborn, she has always screamed and whined a hell of a lot since she was about 3 mo, and when I say it is unrelenting it really is, she literally won't stop, when people say ignore her you can't as she would do it for an hour if left it's awful. I feel like I've had the life and soul sucked from me i am so fed up of this

I feel terrible that because I work and have commitments I need her in bed before 9 at a reasonable time! I feel so disorganised and I look so drained and a mess from being so shattered, I don't recognise myself
Anymore. My mum was such a difficult person, very stubborn by nature, she also used to sit up so late and as a child I took myself to bed by 7.30 most nights, I'm gutted it looks like I've ended up with a baby version of my mum we are so opposite how do I cope with this

No advice really except I'm in the same boat with my 2 year old but she's up ever later! Literally never sleeps before midnight and that's with zero nap. I'm about demented.

Mine used to stay up that late, both very active and enjoyed being downstairs with us. We got them ready for bed so they could go when they started to fall asleep. It wasn't a problem, we all slept well all night and got up OK the next morning.

@CP2701 oh wow that's so late isn't it! One thing I tried that did seem to work recently thay I'm gonna try again is I switched the tv off at about 8.15, dimmed lights and didn't pay much attention. Usually around 8.15/30 signs of being quite tired start and it worked that nihht but I'm going to try it again tonight from about 8.15 and see what happens. She refuses to go up when she's even half awake and it's such a battle. I get they want to be with us much aa possible but we do need fo try and have some form of time and gone 9/9.15 us just so late. Maybe something we have to put up with until she reaches an age where we can explain to her why she has to be in bed at a reasonable time but that's gonna be a long time away from now.

My dd was like this until she went to school. She dropped her nap at 15 months and would sleep 10:30/11 to 7:30 every day without it affecting her mood. 😭

Hi OP,
Having a 2 yr old is difficult enough without this! ... I’ve read your post and would say your bedtime is propably started much too late for your DC. I’ve a 2 yo and after nursery she’s exhausted .. I do bathtime at approx 6.20, then 6.40 straight up to bed for 2 stories ( same every night!) and then lights out before 7pm. If I suspect there’s going to be any messing about getting out of bed - which she does sometimes - I wait outside her room and once she opens the door I immediately put her straight back into bed and say go to sleep firmly. With your DC you will likely have to put her back to bed like this a lot in the first week until she gets the message - put an hour aside and just accept your fate! But it will be worth it .. stick to it and you’ll get your evenings back😀
Ps total blackout blinds are essential with a gentle night light and allow her to have a good nap at nursery again otherwise she will be overtired in the eve - just tell them she isn’t allowed to sleep past 2pm.
Good luck 😀

@AllTheSingleLadiess some if these kids energy levels is crazy! A few have said later than 9!! 😳 I just don't know how they do it!! I'm hanging on!! 🤣😵‍💫

@Genevie82 you know you may have a point there, maybe we are starting too late, it's so hard to tell as tbh most of the time she's running round like mad with no sign of tiredness until a lot 8pm, I have told DH we need to start winding it off at like 7.15ish but I'm gonna try earlier and see how that goes. We have to be strong with the putting back too yes, I can do that. We've got the blackout blinds which helped a lot and have a soft glow plug in lamo on delivery too so we can try the taking her up also as this has got to start as it's getting daft now just no evening at all. Will ask nursery to keep nap to min 30 mins but no later than 2 also as that never helps, ideally her nap would be 12.30-1 I think that's plenty, she starts new nursery room next week so am gonna request they do that and see how she goes! Thanks a lot and yes I'm gonna need all the luck there is!! This one is strong 🤣🤦‍♀️

You'll get to bed at 8pm when the clocks go back! 😂

Yes really good luck ... keep at just putting her straight back to into bed once you hear her up ... see it like a weeks project! .. I had a mum friend who counted 40 times in one eve but it’s worth the hassle to eventually get your evening back 😀

@Genevie82 I hope this works for the OP but it doesn't work for my child unfortunately. I was so up for it and I'm a pretty stubborn person so I was ready for the challenge. 3 hours later I was still two repeatedly putting her in bed. I just could not do it any longer. I have tried this many times, I was actually gutted it didn't work as so many people said it is fool proof!

It wouldn't have worked for mine either, CP2700, but I didn't mind them being up. They were good natured children and we all slept well.

Kids are great at not acting tired when they are. They get a second wind and cortisol from overtiredness keeps them running, making them appear full of energy and it genuinely makes it much harder for them to settle to sleep (thus cementing the impression that they’re not tired, when they are).

Full days at nursery and a short nap would leave most 2 yr olds exhausted and ready for bed by 6.30pm.

I honestly would put to bed MUCH earlier. I’d also allow at least an hour nap, but understand if you don’t want to. But I would be looking at max 4.5-5hrs from end of nap to asleep. So if up at 2pm, aim for asleep (not going to bed, asleep, so put to bed at least 10 mins before target time to allow time to settle) by 6.30-7pm.

Literally home, a snack and some milk if needed, a little quiet activity/suitable calm tv, bath, stories, bed.

I know earlier bedtimes can be alarming but I really think it’s worth a try. I’m convinced your 2yr old is overtired rather than staying up because she’s not tired. Give it a go for a full week and just see.

Can you also try some soothing audiobooks or music to listen to, to encourage her into bed? Ladybird and Puffin do some lovely sleepy stories or there’s Moshi Monsters.

@Genevie82 I’m with you 100% on this. I’m sure there’s the odd kid it doesn’t work for, every child is different, but this case really sounds like masked overtiredness to me. And YY to the blackout blinds too, these late summer nights don’t help.

Update - we had oir DD moved over to the next stage class with only a 30 min nap, she is so much happier with the new stimulation of the older kids and bigger space and new staff and is managing happily with a short nap and going to bed around 7.30-8! She's sleeping the whole nihht unless she's ill but her sleep is better and we all have a much better balance, the next stage will be to drop the nap altogether when she's ready but atm 2 wks wirh no 9pm plus bedtimes.

😀

@FizzingWhizzbee123 thank you so much for your advice I def am going to try winding her down earlier as she abs does have the second wind and we know she's def tired but she pushes on through it for ages, she did it again sun night, she only had a 30 min nap 12-12-30 and was in bed at 8.30! But I'm not sure it's as we didn't go out or do a lot Sunday as clearing a back room out and perhaps wasn't tired out mentally enough or physically but went to nursery yest with a later 30 min nap and was asleep at 8. It's hard to tell if it's linked to how much energy she burns mentally and physically but I am def going to try and start the routine earlier and those audio books are a great recommendation to thank you I'll check those out 😃