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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

My six year old refused to go to school this morning

23 replies

Meid · 27/11/2007 12:23

She's not done this before but she's a very headstrong girl and I know that once she's made up her mind thats it. So, I phoned in sick for her.

I don't think there are problems at school. I think she's tired (she often has trouble sleeping at night and has had a couple of particularly bad nights). Plus they seem to be spending most of the day at the moment rehearsing the christmas production and it sounds pretty boring.

But I'm now worried she'll try this on again and want to make a habit of it.

Anyone else had this? Any suggestions on how to prevent it happening again?

Many thanks x

OP posts:

harleyd · 27/11/2007 12:25

are you mad?
she is 6
she has to go to school unless she is ill
thats all there should be to it
if she is tired put her to bed early

this amazes me

bluejelly · 27/11/2007 12:25

I would force my dd to go to school in this situation. Try telling her it's the law and she will be in big trouble if she doesn't go!

bluejelly · 27/11/2007 12:28

In fact I'd take her in now if I were you!

Aimsmum · 27/11/2007 12:28

Message withdrawn

Lazarou · 27/11/2007 12:28

It's one day! Let her rest and send her tommorrow.

wannaBe · 27/11/2007 12:29

"she's a very headstrong girl and I know that once she's made up her mind thats it. So, I phoned in sick for her.". wtf! who is the parent here and who is the child!

tissy · 27/11/2007 12:29

Absolutely.

My dd goes to school even when I think she might be sick...I'm 5 mins away, and can pick her up if she needs to go home.

Next time she tries to play hookie, she'll be expecting you to give in, and will kick off even more.

Tell her it's the LAW and YOU will be in BIG trouble if she doesn't go to school. My dd has worked out for herself that when grown-ups are in BIG trouble they can go to prison. For the purposes of getting her to school,I haven't told her that this isn't very likely

Tortington · 27/11/2007 12:30

shes be under my arm legs a kicking and plonked at school desk.

RosaLuxMundi · 27/11/2007 12:33

You know that once she has made up her mind that's it?
Who is in charge here?
What she has just learned is that she doesn't have to go to school if she doesn't feel like it.
You need to take charge. Explain that you have allowed her to stay home today because she has had trouble sleeping and that because of this you will be tucking her up early tonight so she will be fresh and rested for school tomorrow.
Then get heavy with the bedtime routine for the next couple of weeks.
You could also make sure today is a pretty boring day - help you with chores, no tv etc so that she will look forward to school tomorrow.
And don't get into any arguments if she refuses again - use the broken record technique - I hear what you are saying but you have to go to school now, yes I understand you feel it is boring, but you have to go to school now, I know you feel tired but you have to go to school now, over and over. Once you start to engage with her arguments you start to lose the battle.
Good luck.

EmsMum · 27/11/2007 12:33

Oh dear.

You have to have a serious talk and tell her you have just found out that it is against the law for you to let her stay off school if she isn't ill. Not that SHE will be in big trouble but that YOU will be.

Because thats the truth. It got my recalcitrant DD out of the door when she said she didn't want to go.

Dior · 27/11/2007 12:35

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Meid · 27/11/2007 12:36

She's been at school 2 years, has only had about 3 sick days off in that time, and today she was hiding under the bed screaming she wasn't going in.
I do apologise for being a crap parent and letting her stay at home.

OP posts:

Chopster · 27/11/2007 12:37

Blimey, whatever will you do when she is a teenager and gets bigger ideas in her head!

Take her in to school after lunch, tell them she has perked up, and tell her rules are rules.

Also, when mine are off, even for a cold, they stay in bed all day, maybe with a book. They hate it and won't stay off unless they are properly ill.

bluejelly · 27/11/2007 12:37

Oh don't apologise, I guess a one-off won't do any harm. But I would strongly advise you not to give in again!

Dior · 27/11/2007 12:38

Message withdrawn

Dior · 27/11/2007 12:38

Message withdrawn

Dropdeadfred · 27/11/2007 12:39

Hmmm..guess she knows how to get a day off now...

tissy · 27/11/2007 12:39

hiding under the bed screaming?

If this is out of character for her, I would be straight on the phone to the teacher to find out if there is any reason why she may not want to be in school. Something as minor as a falling-out with a best friend may be enough to precipitate a bit of a wobbly. Teacher may not have thought it was serious enough to tell you.

emandjules · 27/11/2007 12:40

Hi meid, I agree with you keeping her home. She is probably under the weather or an underlying reason if she has only had 3 days sick in 2 years. I would sit her down and ask why she did not want to go to school today esp if she has never kicked up b4. I kept dd off a few weeks ago cos she had a meltdown about the other children dressed in fancy dress for a cparticular day. She did have a cold aswell.

You are not a crap parent, you just care.

Chopster · 27/11/2007 12:42

you don't need to apologise to anyone here! Just get it sorted before you really make things hard for yourself and for your dd.

mynameisnic · 27/11/2007 12:46

She may not be "trying it on". She may be genuinely tired today and may genuinely have not been up to a day at school. This may never happen again and may not become an issue. If she is generally happy at school and is not experiencing any problems then why should it.

If she is genuinely suffering today through lack of sleep then letting her stay off communicates that you trust her and respect her feelings.

colditz · 27/11/2007 12:49

She's having trouble sleeping, and is terrified to go to school? Whatever reason she is giving you, I think she is actually being bullied.

VictorianSqualor · 27/11/2007 12:57

I agree with the posters that have said find out the underlying issue.

Yes, you are the parent and I thikn your OP made it look like she was allowed to what she wants, but the truth is you knew it wasn't normal for her to act like this so have kept her off.

I would ask her if there are any reasons she hasn't told you for her being off, I have a Dd just turned 7 myself so I know at times they don't offer up much!

Also my DD had a day off the otehr day, telling me she was poorly, and then within a few hours was playing up with her brother, so I posted similar thread on what to do WRT her not doing it again.

My dd ended up either laying in bed doing nothing (she was poorly best place for her) or sitting at the table whilst I spouted off possible spellings ad wrote things out for her to copy to practice her handwriting, or reading outloud to her brother (if she was poorly but had somehow got better through the day then surely she should be catching up on some school work?)

The next day she wwent in to school no discussion, and has been under the weather for a few days after but still would not have contemplated staying home.

If your DD finds that beign at home is just the same as school, it should stop her wanting to stay off, if she still kicks off, I'd say it was more than just an off day.

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