6 yo can't go to sleep alone

[Bugaboom]

My 6yo DD has been unable to fall asleep alone for about 2 months. It probably started a bit before that with her wanting an extra story/ a song/ a longer cuddle but for weeks now she cannot fall asleep without me or my husband sitting in her room. If we creep out before she is deep asleep she shakes awake and starts crying. She is also coming into our room in the night most nights.
There was no trigger that we or she can think of. She says she wishes she could fall asleep like she used to but is scared on her own. Its not that dark on her room, she has night ligts and fairy lights too. I tried one evening leaving her for 3 min intervals but staying upstairs and she was hysterical.
We've put a mattress on our floor for the middle of the night wake ups. We both work with long commutes so really need to maximise our sleep. But now we are getting no evening (she still isn't asleep now at 9.20pm). Any thoughts or ideas? Is this just another phase that will pass?

I have no ideas op but I wanted to say I hope someone wise comes along to help & in the meantime you have my sympathies. Ds8 is going through one of these phases at the moment. He's never cried but he will go for periods of time where he just won't settle at all. Xx

Thanks Susie. Fingers crossed someone has the magic answer! Sorry to hear your DS struggling too x

Hi OP,
Can I just check you haven’t had any big changes in your life over past 6 months? I’m sure you’ve thought of this ...
Given your DD age I’d suggest reward based incentives to get her back into the routine she has previously had with you. I did this with my DS as he too suddenly got into a pattern of waking in the night and getting into bed with us - 2x a night sometimes so you have my sympathy! I bought a gro clock and to start I allowed him to choose a toy that he really wanted with the agreement that if he did 1 sleep without getting up at all until the sun was up he would get it the next morning. Then once staying in his bed all night was established I stretched the sleeps until he got the reward and eventually phased it out once he had got back into sleeping through the night. It was worth it to break the pattern of night waking and it really worked.
As for your DDs struggle to get to sleep on her own, this is really hard for you as parents as it’s upsetting seeing her distress... I wonder if she is overtired or over stimulated and is struggling to soothe herself to sleep naturally? It might be worth you taking the approach of encompassing it with the reward to see how she responds. I’ve friends who have had the same issue with their children not being able to go to sleep on their own and it’s a pattern that can be very hard to shift once it’s being going on for a while so defo worth trying to reverse it now.

..Just to add I think I’d tackle the night waking first. Once she’s back to sleeping through the night I’d then try dealing with bedtimes -it may change back naturally if she’s learning to just turn over when she wakes instead of seeking you out 😀

Thanks Genevie for taking time to reply. Nope nothing in last 6 months. We've been trying to thing if there is anything at all but really can't. I think she is quite the thinker and probably prone to some anxiety. A colleague suggested a worry teddy and she is up for trying that. I've got her reading with her light on this evening rather than sticking to the early bedtime to see if that might help. The night time waking aren't as bad as the evening settling. In fact I think she has only been in once this week (touches wood). Will revisit the rewards- tried this at the start with if you can get a star each morning you can have a new toy but she just wasn't interested. Fingers crossed the worry bear helps!