So I’m looking for some advice with respect to my 11 year old daughters behavior.
I’m really struggling at the minute with my daughter’s inability to listen and follow basic rules. For example, she needs constant reminding and direction to complete basic daily tasks (such as getting dressed in the morning, brushing her teeth etc). She will literally stay in her pyjamas if I let her.
Also, I find she can be very lazy and inconsiderate at times. Examples include eating and drinking something and leaving the glass or crisp packet where she is for someone else to pick up. She will also leave her clothes spread across the bedroom floor instead of taking them two feet to the laundry basket. She does it once I tell her too, but the constant reminding and repeating myself is starting to really take it’s toll. I have tried taking the time to explain what she needs to do and why but this has not worked. I have also tried reprimanding the behavior by removing privileges such as the tv and ipad for a defined period but it doesn’t seem to have any affect on her behavior and she goes back in the same routine.
Recently I’m noticing further disregarding of rules and disobedient behavior. Her bed time is at 9pm but on several occasions she has stayed awake in her bed playing with toys (which I only discovered the following day when I found toys in her bed) and on another occasion, I went into her room to discover she had fallen asleep on her ipad. She has started back chatting and becoming rude which I feel like I always address immediately but I want her to stop this.
The final straw came the other day when we both spent time clearing out and deep cleaning her room. Within her toy drawers, I discovered dirty socks and other clothing that she admitted she had stashed there when I had asked her to clean her room previously because she couldn’t be bothered to put them in the laundry basket (that’s two foot away). I told her off at the time and it was forgotten about. The next day (having spent half a day cleaning her room with her), I discovered a freshly stashed pair of socks from the day before. I completely lost it because to me, this is now pure laziness, disrespect and disobedience.
Am I expecting too much for an 11 year old too habitually clean their teeth without being prompted and get dressed in the morning?
Also, at 11, is it reasonable to expect her to pick up after herself and not be repeatly reminded to do this?