Help! I'm at my wit's end with my two years old! Broke down in tears 3 days in a row.

[Return2thebasic]

Can someone gives me some tips with my 26 months old? He's a very smart kid and very well behaved in the nursery. But I do feel like he just deliberately takes advantage of the fact that I'm his main carer and makes our daily life difficult.

I got "No, mum." like hundreds of times a day from him. I used to be patient with him, trying to negotiate with him and never forced him. But it's so exhausting and feeling to be taken for granted. He also changed his mind within less than a second back and forth - "No tuck in!", "Tuck in! Tuck in!", "NOOO, no tuck in!". It's driving me crazy and I broke in tears 3 days in a row this week.

It's particularly bad today. I couldn't hep myself and completely withdrew into myself from before lunch till he woke up from nap. I didn't want to engage with him at all the entire time. I was so scared that I didn't want to touch him and didn't want to have anything to do with him after he woke up from nap. I panicked and text DH (who was working upstairs) to come downstairs to help me break out from the emotional trap.

I think probably the last year has been so hard (home schooling my 8 yo and lock-down etc.) that I wasn't aware the status of my mental health. Once the "Terrible Two" kicked in, I just couldn't cope. DS1 was never like this. So this is completely new. Plus DS2 is smarter than average which makes the power struggle even worse.

I feel I can't carry on like this. Even though I know this is a normal phase, but I just don't know what tactic I could use to go through this phase.

He's doing it to you, because he can. Because he is safe and can trust you.

I don't have any advice really. I've always tried to ignore/challenge/distract. And I also try to remember that everything is a phase.

@Opalfeet

He's doing it to you, because he can. Because he is safe and can trust you. I don't have any advice really. I've always tried to ignore/challenge/distract. And I also try to remember that everything is a phase.

@Opalfeet, thank you so much for reminding me of this" "He's doing it to you, because he can. Because he is safe and can trust you."

Absolutely right!

Another sympathy post from a "no" mum to a 20mo. If it helps, I always ask him a few things , usually get all "no" so I plan my day accordingly. Not at all. You want to take bicycle? OK. Scooter? Also OK. Go see trucks? OK. Decided that we will just run around the lamp post? Also ok.

I have zero expectations. I say we go get coffee and that's my only goal for the day. Then I get coffee, job done, and back we go etc.

I also don't think he is necessarily "doing this to you" rather he is learning what happens if he says no. It's also very important to explain over and over what and why. We have a meltdown very often about something when I really need to get somewhere, and I always sit on the floor with him in the middle of the pavement and I hug him and say why we need to go, where we are going, what we will do and that we will be back later. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it does not.

I make sure he is fed, watered and rested. The other things are outside of my control...but I love this phase (sometimes) because I can see he is so cheeky and actually he is developing a personality and it's just so cool how this thing is just growing and changing every day.