i have a four year old daughter and have some issues with her behaviour which mostly revolves round her interactions with her mum.
What tends to happen on a almost daily basis is my daughter starts to annoy my wife by poking her, generally going out of her way to make her angry. My wife starts to get really angry, then my daughter ends up throwing a huge tantrum and it just ends up being a complete nightmare. Now my daughter never does this with me. We had to move countries because of a family emergency so Im her primary carer whilst my wife works.
My daughter tends to throw these horrible tantrums only when my wife is around. Never with me. She's generally well behaved with me and very compliant. The trigger for defiant and tantrums seems to be my wife. I can take her out shopping, go to the park and never have any issues.
Normally I wouldn't be worried but I was previously married and have a son who is now nearly 18. I had a lot of issues with him when he started school. His school thought he had Aspergers and I had to go to various doctors and never got a clear diagnosis.
I'm really stressed thinking I have passed some gene or something onto to my daughter. She's just started school and has had very good reports with zero issues whilst when my son started school it was a total nightmare from day one. I really don't want to start taking my daughter to doctors because with my son nothing was ever resolved and I went private and spent a lot of money.
Another thing worth mentioning is if she has a nap in the afternoon and wakes up with Mum home she's wailing and has a massive tantrum. If she has a nap with just me home and wakes up, nothing, she's perfectly ok.
I don't think my daughter has anything major, I just think my wife is a trigger. My wife does get extremely angry which certainly makes the whole thing ten times worse. Any suggestions?