Baby very quiet and not focusing

[SS1983]

Hello,

I am not sure what I am asking here, maybe looking for some input.

I have a 4.5month old boy. He was generally very happy, would squeal in the morning when husband or I went to his cot. His eye contact was good and he was very focussed on us. He has however always been very quiet, not fussy and generally doesn't cry much.

In the last week or so, this has changed. He has always been quiet, and still is, this does worry me. In addition, the below are really worrying me:

My husband and I have gone up to his cot in the morning or after a nap, and he doesn't really look at us or focus. He just stares quietly at other things or to the side

If I sit him on my lap facing me, his head is always turned to the side.

When he wakes up, he just lies there, no crying or anything which really worries me. Shouldn't there be some crying or noise

When he sits in his bouncer etc, he doesn't really focus on us or keep eye contact as much. He has his moments, but because I keep thinking about this, i think I am having to make extra effort. It used to just come, he would always look at us and smile

He doesn't respond to strangers. They will call him, click, but takes ages to get any response. He will just stare and sometimes after ages give a small smile

He will go to other people if they pick him up, but again no reaction, and he will just look to the other side. My daughter will often cry if with other people and away from us.

Sometimes he just sits there quietly in his own world. People tell me how 'good' he is because he doesn't cry, just sits there, but I really feel like that is not right

I am overcome with anxiety, and i know this is early, but husband and I can both see our little boy is a bit different in the last week or so. I guess the hot weather doesn't help, and he doesn't like the heat

Has anyone come across anything similar, or can offer any advice. Also, anything to help manage my anxiety and worry. I can't sleep well, i am constantly watching him, googling and having headaches with worry.

Thank you

Also, anything to help manage my anxiety and worry. I can't sleep well, i am constantly watching him, googling and having headaches with worry.

This seems to be the problem OP. Some babies do just wake up and lie there and some are naturally more quite, just like some adults.

Even if he does have something "not right" as you say, there is probably very little that can be assessed with such a small baby.

If your anxiety is giving you headaches and sleepless nights, you really need some RL support. Could you call your HV today and tell her how you feel?

If you're unable to get in touch with your HV I'd ask for an emergency appointment with your GP.

I'd also give the PANDAS Foundation a call. From what you've said in this post, you found well have PN Anxiety

@BunnyRuddington thank you. I think I will call someone and make an appointment. It’s really bad of me , but I’ve often felt like even talking to anyone won’t help, but I should give it a go.

My son had a bad day today with the heat (he seems to hate the heat and not do well with it). He cried and cried, slept a lot and just doesn’t seem
himself, just staring away and looking tired. It’s just further added to my anxiety. I can’t tell if he is just genuinely being distant, or if it is the heat and causing exhaustion. But I’m constantly watching and almost testing that I just feel like it’s all I think about.

Sorry for babbling

@ss1983 I found your post as searching for info on my sonss change of behavior. He is almost 8 months old. He started to change too, spaces out, sometimes just sits there too.
How is your baby doing?

@Mommyof21821 hope you are doing ok.

I’m still worried about my son. He is often happy and smiley. But I still have many concerns and am anxious

• he does space out sometimes. He moves soo much as he has started crawling and then he will sometimes zone out
• we are weaning now and he just doesn’t pay attention often. Will look the other way and not have the food or finger food. He chews on the tray on the high chair too
• he has started nursery. Doesn’t seem to even have any reaction when I go and pick him up. He seems happy there. Generally seems happy if I even leave room without noticing
• he is always on the go. Then will bury his head in the pillows I’ve left to protect fire place etc

How is your son doing

@SS1983 - hello! Just wondering how your little one is right now? My baby girl is 5.5 months and sounds exactly the same as your baby? We do get big smiles when we approach her in bassinet but when she wakes so just lies there looking around, not really giggling yet other than small "hehe" and we really have to work for that! Coos, but not all the time. Can go hours without making a sound. Happy to go to strangers. Sometimes instant smile, sometimes takes a while to smile and other times no smile. When she does smile we can get a Duchenne smile.

@SS1983 hi. How is your baby doing now?

@Yas1362 my son is doing well thanks

@SS1983 hi. May I ask if your son had later any developmental delay ? My five month old is also not babbling much and some times space out. I’m about worried.

If you’re in the UK you could mention it to the HV at obe if the Weigh in clinics?

Hi , yes, my son is fine. I would suggest not to worry and overthink any of their traits when they are son young - babies are so different. Atleast until about 18 months

@SS1983 thanks for your response. When did you notice changes and development in him? Regarding babbling and so?

@Yas1362 i don’t think i had concerns about babbling exactly. It was more the ‘quirks’ he had that used to worry me - would get completely overwhelmed and cry in every gathering we went into, we had to leave or I’d avoid, rock back and forth, stare into space , especially when waking up, no sign he had woken up, lack of eye contact, lack of pointing and he’d guide my hand to books etc (I’d googled so this set me off too). He was definitely late with the ‘traditional ‘ milestones like pointing as I remember obsessing over that - I’d say he was doing it properly at just before 2. Then he just kinda caught up - and his speech was actually advanced acording to nursery. He’s a twin so I was always comparing and he seemed different. I think they grow out of a lot of these things or it’s just too early to be monitoring