Nearly 4 year old excessive energy, talking, noise/screeching

[Verynoisychild]

Since he could move he’s been on the go, since he could talk, he hasn’t stopped, he’s nearly 4.

I’ve been working from home for a year (sibling born just over a year ago) and he is in daycare 2-3 days a week. We go to parks, spend time in and out, ride bikes, walks, when we are NOT doing this stuff is when it’s mostly a problem, but other than being outside, nothing curbs it, an hour of attention and 2 mins later it starts again.

Daycare is spaced out so he doesn’t have 2 days at home through the week (tuesdays and Thursdays, and sometimes monday).

The noise is getting worse, and we are spending all day telling him off and I hate it. Between excessive silly behaviour, being rough and knocking his brother over etc, snatching toys, shouting thinking he is funny, shouting/intentional yelling when I’m on the phone, butting in to any conversation, talking non stop (language is amazing, he just doesn’t stop), never silence unless watching tv/iPad. Always full of energy, jumping on furniture (have purchased a climbing frame but that hasn’t helped), thinks he’s funny when he’s being naughty, throwing toys thinking it’s ok and half the time, funny. Not listening repeatedly, zoning out, ignoring what I’ve said and doing what he thinks - regardless of whether it’s dangerous. If we are at a shop he’s pulling at my arm, running and jumping being an idiot, I have strapped him into the pram and dealt with a screaming tantrum and it still doesn’t stop. We have been curbing the defiant behaviour and tantrums that have surfaced recently and it’s settling, but the rest continues and gets worse (6 months ago I could get 2-3 hours of work done easily, now I cannot even sit at my desk without him yelling, screaming and shoving packets of food in my face, even if I’m only half heartedly working and talking to him - most work is done daycare days but there is still a little urgent stuff that I can’t avoid.

Is this considered normal? I am absolutely knackered by the end of the day, whether I’ve tried to do an hours work or not. It’s exhausting, his saving grace is he sleeps well and will fall asleep if I take him for a drive when I need a break - minimal this days as the consequence is a very late night.

Posting while dinner cooks so it’s rushed and I hope it makes sense. I’m sure I’ve missed stuff but this is a general guide.

Thanks in advance!

What's his focus and concentration like on activities he chooses?

It varies, if it’s riding his bike he can spend ages (electric balance bike and a pedal bike), if it’s drawing, sometimes he’s wanting to put it away before I’ve even got stuff out.

He will sit there and try to do a puzzle for half an hour, then other times acting like an idiot throwing puzzle pieces around. Same goes for building blocks. He often flits between different toys like various cars/monster trucks and driving them around my damn walls

I do feel like he needs some more engaging toys, while he does have some, it’s hard when his brother wants to destroy everything due to his age

OP this is also my experience with my son! He can sit and concentrate on his tablet and will play nicely with his bikes (balance bike and pedal bike) but that's it. He lies (sometimes serious lies but I dont think he fully understands what the consequences for those lies are) he screams, talks constantly, will not let me have a conversation with anyone else either in person or on the phone, jumps around the shops and has to touch everything, completely ignores me when I ask him not to do somthing, if I remove a toy from him I get I dont like you anymore, I will hurt you, I'm going to bite you ect, he whinges A LOT but also sleeps well the same as your son. He also is constantly in my face and knows that I really dont like this as I find it claustrophobic but does it anyway just to irritate me. He also refuses to let me go to the toilet on my own or even hold down any friendships as he needs my attention on him constantly other wise he really plays up.

I made a joke to my other half yesterday that our son is very much like having a labrador, constantly hungry, needs plenty of exercise, plenty on mental stimulation, lots of attention and is attracted to mud and water!

He does have a lovely side to him but at the minute we dont see it very much. He is relentless and not very nice to be around. We dont get offers of help from family anymore as he is too intense for them.

Sorry that I havent got any advice but I couldnt believe that someone else experiences the same as me! I hope you some advice I know its absolutely draining.

How old is your boy? I’ve found it’s gotten harder to manage over the last 6 months, hes 2 months off 4 now. We have no family around, only our neighbour who we go and see often to feed the chickens and see her kittens (rescue), so I’m glad we have that someone. Although he’s forever trying to get her attention over the fence - tall and cannot see

Sounds a lot like my daughter when she was that age, it was bloody draining!
She has ADHD, she was diagnosed at 6.

ADHD is something I have thought of many times, but know it’s hard to get any confirmation at this age.

@Verynoisychild

Mine is 4 next week. He has always been like this but so nearly as intense as he is now. It started to get unbearable after the first few months of lockdown last year. I'm always thinking of ADHD but wanted to let him settle into school before I make any assumptions. My little one is an only child and can get bored very quickly. I feel like I am constantly having to calm him/make him happy. The only time he ever looks content is when he is asleep or on his tablet. It's such a shame x

Following as this all sounds very similar to my son who is 3.5, nursery flagged possible issues and had him assessed at nursery, we have his first appointment with Peads at the hospital this week, some paperwork had referenced sensory processing disorder with sensory seeking behaviour and ADHD has been mentioned, I also have a 2 year old so it's hard at the moment.