in dire need of tactics for 2.5yo's bedtime - atm it's a race to the door amid tears and screaming

[Tutter]

and tht's just me and dh

ba bum

(had to be done)

ds1 beside himself when we leave at night. it's a nightmare getting him into bed and getting him to stay there

he can't get out of his room as the door handles are high, but it's awful to peg it away from him (to get to the door before him) and get out so quickly

Stairgate on the door so he does not feel so 'shut in/away' might help?
Also we have system of 'if you are quiet for 10 minutes I'll come up and kiss you again' (but only ever go once they have been quiet for that long!) - she is nearly always asleep by the time I go up to do it!
And plug in glowing nightlight thing maybe?

Its horrible isn't it - full sympathy.

Sit with him until he falls asleep. Make sure he is tierd when you put him to bed (ie drop daytime nap if necessary). After a few nights you can try sitting by the door, then outside the room.

Its perfectly understandable for a 2 yr old to be afraid of being left alone.

Have you tried leaving the door open?? DD is now 2.9 and about 4 or 5 months ago (having always slept with the door shut and been pretty easy to put to bed) she started kicking up a huge huge fuss, screaming, running to the door and rattling it etc. I thought she was trying to get out, but it turned out she just wanted the door to be left wide open, I think she finds it comforting having the light and listening to DH and I pottering around downstairs. Initially I put a stair gate over the door to stop her escaping, but after a couple of nights I found I didn't need to bother.

Anyway, that probably isn't the issue for you, in which case I'm sorry I can't help, but I thought I'd mention it as DH and I were quite surprised by the fact that something so simple as leaving the door open could make such a huge difference.

tbh i don't think he is scared - he stops crying more or less as soon as we've left the room

it's more like yet another of those trigger points for a clash - we have several atm (into the bath, out of the bath, to the table at mealtimes, into the car, out of the car, etc etc etc )

he does have a bunny light clock, so it's not totally pitch black

DD is really really good about going to bed - but gets hysterical if the door is shut on her - hence we used a stairgate for a while.

I agree totally that its quite scary to be shut in a room, even at 26 I stll don't like it! So I don't expect it of DD.

I would leave the door open. He is probably scared. 2 is a bit young to shut the door IMO

I'd stay with him, just faffing around and tidying up quietly until he's dropped off.

Bonus for everyone: he gets company as he falls asleep; you get to put some of his clothes away in drawers instead of clothing him from the laundry basket (if you're anything like me... I treat laundry baskets as mobile wardrobes nowadays)

thanks all

may try the door open + stairgate option

very much doubt he'd fall asleep with me in the room - he's always been put down to bed on his own (well, since 6mo)

well, didn't go quite according to plan

put stairgate up and have told him several times over the course of the day that if he was quiet when daddy said goodnight, that we'd leave the door open - he seemed to et the idea

but he just got out of bed, leaned over the stairgate and whingey-cried

after a couple more warnings we c,losed the door

will try again tomorrow - maybe it'll take a couple of nights for him to get the idea

(first whinge woke ds2, hence not giving him all night to get the idea or to give up and go to bed)

Does he have a story cd he could listen to...perhaps he'd be interested enough to stay in bed and not cry if he was listening to something?

spooky, ddf

we tried that as well for the first time tonight

dh turned it off when we gave up and closed the door...

Is this something that has started recently or has he always had a problem with nighttimes?

I don't understand why you'd leave him crying?

because otrher things have to get done, emma

like getting ds2 to bed

and dinner ready

and chores done

ddf, he's gone through phases likl thisn beforew, but they have only lasted a few days before

he only cries til we leave - pretty much once the door's shut and he can tell we've gone, he settles

part of the problem may be that he's very very tired by bedtime as he's in the process of droppiung his daytime nap

he then woke very early today (5:45)

i think i may enforce an in-car nap today...

Hmmmm it's hard , my dd3 is 2.5 also and we have never had a guaranteed easy time...

What time do you put him to bed in light of him dropping his nap?

still 7pm or thereabouts, ddf

have enforced an in-car nap the past 2 days - he went out like a light just outside the driveway both days

[fingers crossed] last night and tonight the promise of door left open and audio CD have worked - no tears!