Too much info - worried about lack of sleep @ 19 weeks

[Newmummy39]

Hi,

I have posted several times regarding sleep, but what's making it worse is that my friends baby (formula fed) sleeps through the night and has long naps. My baby is 5 months next week and hers is 6 months in 2 weeks. I make sure I go for nice long walks, getting him out in the fresh air, he goes swimming once a week and I have lots of play and tummy time with him. We have a great bed time routine and he will sleep for the first 3 hours and then after that it's every 2. Last night I ended up feeding him every time he woke up too. I feel there is so much information on what I should and shouldn't be doing to help him sleep through, whether it be self soothing, not feeding him every time he wakes. I have days like to
day where I am just at my wits end. He's having 5 naps a day of 30 mins and last week I didn't take him swimming because he was sleeping and I didn't want to wake him. I feel a constant failure and worry so much he is tired or I'm not feeding him enough (maybe breast isn't enough anymore). Is it just sleep regression or am I just going to have sleepless nights forever! I know I shouldn't compare, but I do. She doesn't even take her baby out for walks or does the activities I do. I also thought I was doing the best by breast feeding, but no one I know (apart from family) breasts feeds and yet it seems a breeze for the owns who don't! HELP x

I know some breastfed babies who get great night and/or daytime sleep (mine has been one of them! Currently in a regression…), so it is possible!

Don’t be hard on yourself. Sometimes it’s just the baby. And try not to resent your friend (if you are). She’s been lucky but things could easily change for her (I know a unicorn baby sleeping through the night who switched at six months and wouldn’t sleep for more than an hour…).

How do you usually get him down at night? If you’re feeding to sleep this could be the problem, as this is now a sleep association. He fell asleep on the breast and when he wakes up it’s gone and he needs it back to fall asleep again.

@Kakapop

Thank you.

It's just very difficult not to compare and question everything!!

I currently do play time, read, bath and feed. He doesn't always fall asleep on the boob, he is sometimes awake, but I have to then lull him to sleep after. He does sometimes wake up and then self soothe back, but he sometimes wakes himself up when he moves (front sleeper) because I think my snuz pod next to me is getting a little too small for him? Who knows. 🆘 😂

Please don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re doing such a good job. It’s so hard not to compare but I found it easy to remember that, just like us, they are human beings and will be different to others and won’t do the same thing every day.

If it’s any consolation, my LO did start sleeping for longer stretches at 6 months. But then there were points he needed more help at nighttime and then less again. For us, it wasn’t a straight line of longer and longer stretches consistently. I don’t think it is for many people.

My LO did outgrow his snuzpod somewhere between 5-6 months. We went away for 3 weeks so he was in a travel cot and started rolling over in his sleep. The first night we got home he woke every 45 minutes 😭 so I moved him to his cot then.

I think the age your LO is is hard because you’ve had a long time of disturbed sleep and it’s hard to hear that others seem to be having an easier time. You’ll get there one day too 💐

Well formula fed babies do in general sleep better because it takes longer to digest formula than it does breast milk but not all. Mine was breastfed and woke every two hours every night for months and months and months....

I think it does depend though on whether they are a night feeder or not - mine was far more interested in everything around her and being super busy during the day and I am sure she made up for it at night. In the end I just made my peace with it and went to bed super early as I had no interest in sleep training.

I doubt that breast milk isn't enough for him any more because he would just feed more and your supply would increase accordingly.

This is not a popular opinion on Mumsnet but I fed to sleep and everyone was fine. I took the view that women have been doing that for thousands of years and tthe Human race is still here 😉

@Carbis

Thank you!

You're so right there - they are all different just like us. It's just the thought of not knowing when I'll get more than a few hours is the killer. I just wish I would stop doubting and questioning everything I do.

Oh gosh! This is how I feel with what happens now. Did you move him to his cot in his own room?

I had such bad sleep for the last 3 months of pregnancy and then a really awful labour, so it's been full on. I've aged 20 years.

Really appreciate you replying xx

@Mattieandmummy

Oh gosh, I feel this is my LO too. He is so alert and into everything during the day. I can't talk when I'm breast feeding because he will literally stop feeding and look at me, so I have to go into another room away from people or anything that could possibly distract him if I want him to feed properly!

I could virtually kiss you re: last paragraph! I don't want to stop. The thought of everything being so regimented saddens me. I love that he sleeps after he's had a feed. I think to myself....he's all happy bathed and fed. Who doesn't like to eat and fall asleep! I know I do xx

@newmummy39 you're welcome x

Sounds like you are doing amazingly!! It's absolutely normal for baby to fall asleep at boob

I felt better when I read abit more about normal baby sleep as made me realise it's all totally normal and my baby just got there when he was ready. To be honest I wasted a lot of time and energy worrying / trying to "fix" things to no avail, it just improved naturally with time.
www.google.com/amp/s/sarahockwell-smith.com/2017/07/24/the-rollercoaster-of-real-baby-sleep/amp/
Sounds like your friends baby is just one of those rare babies that sleep!!

These videos from Swansea university are also really good at explaining breast / bottle feeding and how there's a lot of misconceptions on this in relation to sleep.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=KloS897cp-c

@milkieway

Wow! These links are fab. I mean, a little depressing but real and factual it seems. I think I worry so much about the sleep deprivation partly because I have to go back to work at the end of Feb after year on mat leave and worry feeling like a zombie when juggling LO, work and nursery (dreading taking him to nursery) but will only work in the office 3 times a week, so maybe it won't be so bad!

Thank you for replying - you've been 👍🏻❤️

My son was a terrible sleeper, nearly broke me but I promise there does come a point where things improved. I breastfed him and I don't think his sleep would've been any different if he'd been formula fed. It sounds like you're doing a great job, hang in there and try not to doubt yourself. Sleep stuff is incredibly hard so look after yourself as much as you can and it will get better in time.

@Anonymum30 thank you!!

I do feel better after I've posted and get great response back.
I just try and remember that sleep deprivation might be driving me crazy, but he's a happy contented little boy, so I'll take that! ❤️❤️

@Newmummy39 it's good to reach out, part of the problem with sleep stuff is that it can feel so lonely and isolating because a lot of it's going on during the night that you feel like you're the only one and it makes you doubt yourself more. Some babies/children are just like this and if he's happy the rest of the time it's testament to the fact that you're doing everything he needs.