How can we stop our 20 mth old waking at night and headbanging on cot

[PandD]

Our 20mth old son has recently taken to waking up in the night and when he realises that we aren't coming to his room, stands up and bangs his head off the top of the cot repeatedly. He has started to do this so much now that he has bruises on his forehead. We have (probably foolishly) started to take him into our own bed as we've been so worried and he immediately goes to sleep!! Has anyone experienced this? How can we stop him headbanging? It only ever happens at night when he is already awake and screaming for mummy or daddy. He never headbutts anything during the day.

I remember watching the baby listener once, and what she did was to pad all hard parts of the cot and basically be firm as firm could be, but in a comforting way.

The pick up put down thingy - basically you pick up the baby, hold them until they're calm, and then put them down, making shushing noises. And repeat, for as long as it takes. You are still with them, it isn't controlled crying, you have made sure they cannot hurt themselves, but you are making it clear that they need to go to sleep in their cot.

Is rather more touchy feely and cosy than complete withdrawal (which I was never never able to do), but it might do the trick.

TBH many's the time that dd ended up in with us, at about the same age (because I remember was pregnant with ds and I really thought that would end up with all of us co-sleeping). But she did grow out of it before he arrived, so by the time she was just over 2.

Good luck!

Thanks for the advice. I must admit that we have been putting him in bed with us as it seems to be the easy way out but I am pregnant with our second and have the same worries that you did about us all being in the same bed and never having a decent nights sleep again!!! I think that we need to bite the bullet and try the calming down method, even if it means lost sleep in the short term.

Depending on your parenting choices of course, but is it a problem to take him in with you, or at least go to him if he's doing it and be with him while he calms back to sleep? Maybe he just wants company in the night and can't communicate his frustration any other way. IMHO going in to him isn't "giving in" and he's only 20 months old, if he does get into the habit of expecting to go to your bed, or calling for you, you can easily and gently redirect that habit a bit later on when he's feeling secure about being by himself at night again. Can you go to him before he gets to the yelling and banging stage? It might reassure him that it's OK you're there, and he might not feel the need to do it.
Only my views I hasten to add, I am the first to hop up if ds shouts in the night and I know it doesn't suit every family to do so, but for us it works as ds goes back to sleep in a few mins once he knows we're nearby.
Good luck...and the phase WILL pass!!