Toddler haircut -Am I traumatising my toddler?

[Jeanjacketlady]

Since turning 2, my ds has hated every haircut, maybe it's because of lockdown as we weren't able to go for a while as he was fine before. Now we literally go to a children's hairdressers nearly every month no matter how short we cut it, it grows like crazy. He gets irritated when his hair grows where he gets a itchy scalp where he sweats a lot and it annoys him when his fringe goes into his eyes. He doesn't allow me to tie his hair so I can wait it out a bit until he becomes more civilised to sit through when older but he is immediately relieved once he has his hair cut and we leave happy. It's just the cutting part which is really stressful where he screams the whole place down.

I had a lady comment today that I was traumatising my son by forcing a haircut as I had to hold him where I said it's life, we need to crack on with things like getting into his car seat when he doesn't want to or when we have to leave the park when he doesn't want to where he throws a massive tantrum and I have to carry him like a surf board. Am I really traumatising him?

I take his favourite sweets and even a left over chocolate Easter egg which he loves to look at and hold to bribe him but nothing worked today. I'm guessing some toddlers don't like it and are terrified but this lady's comment just made me feel guilty. Im a first time mum by the way, am I really being unreasonable by forcing a haircut and traumatising him?

I wouldn’t say you’re traumatising him but at the same time once a month seems a lot. Does it really need to be that often if he hates it so much? Can you see the doctor about the itch - it could be possible he has a touch of eczema or something?

Thank you for responding. We've seen a doctor already (last year) where he said no eczema but we were recommended to use tea tree based shampoos and not wash him quite often and when we do, we have to make sure no shampoo is left at all as the residue can also irritate. He has really thick hair and once it grows a certain length, it really irritates him and during the summer months, it is worse as he sweats a lot. His hair grows forward despite me trying to train it by brushing sideways or backwards so it can grow in those directions to help a little to keep it out of his face but his hair grows so quickly!

I keep the timing when his not hungry or tired and try to entertain him but he just doesn't like it. We use scissors as he is more afraid of clippers but I just felt like a failure when I heard the comment that I was traumatising him. I've tried to tie his hair but he just pulls it apart and it leaves me no choice but to take him for a hair cut.

I try to cut his hair myself sometimes when it's too long at the front when he is asleep but I'm really rubbish at that as well as he wakes up with a wonky fringe. I've never been naturally talented to cut straight or do any arts or crafts unfortunately.

Ds hates having his hair cut. I let him grow until it's bob length then he gets it cut very short, so it's cut 2-3 times a year. He does agree now (a teen) that he likes it having been cut, but doesn't like it actually being done.

I used to do it for him and would put him in front of the computer with something he wanted to watch and a tub of raisins. It could be a bit wonky but was good enough.
Although aged 2yo there was the time when he turned suddenly and I nipped his ear and he wouldn't let me near him for a week. So he had a week of bob length on one side and short back and sides the other.

Is there a kid friendly hair dresser you can go to? We found a lovely place that's only one family at a time and they sit in an interactive kids car with a dvd of there choice and has sensory lights etc. My 2.5year hates me cutting it but loves it there as he gets to play in the car etc. Might be worth looking to see if theres anything like that in your area? Also does it make any difference saying hair trim/snip instead of cut as some toddlers associate cut with pain. It'll get better op, hang in there x