Hi, I was hoping some experienced mums or health professionals could help. I'm a new mum who had my baby at the very start of lockdown last year in April, it was extremely traumatic and I had to do a lot of it alone. On top of that, I'm parenting alone, which has been very testing and my mental health is at an all time low.
I had my 1 year check from the HV over two months ago now and ever since my mental health has suffered incredibly. When she came did her evaluation on my daughter, everything seemed great apart from she wasn't standing much or interested in walking. She is a bum shuffler, as was her dad and I, so apparently they take longer to walk. However, the HV mentioned Autism in a passing comment and instantly I jumped on this to probe further. The HV started to back track and said it is nothing to think about right now anyway etc, which didn't help.
After she left I went down a dark path of obsessive googling, which I still do from time to time, despite speaking to my daughters doctors (who were quite annoyed at HV, to the point that they got her to call me at 6pm at night to talk it through). But since it was mentioned I just can't shake the feeling there is something wrong so I wanted to see if anyone could help.
My daughter has always been very vocal since she was a little baby, always blowing raspberries or cooing and then it developed to baba, mama, gaga, rara, blah blah, da da, la la. She uses the words Bye and Mama in context and can also wave goodbye. She now says "baa baa" if she see's baa baa black sheep, she is trying to say bubbles and car.
She mimics noises she hears, once from a wood pigeon which I thought was pretty good going. She mimics clapping and body movements. She points at cars, dogs, birds, people, things in her books, facial features and people she wants to go to. She now points for things she wants, like a plate of crisps at a BBQ and once she pointed at the TV as she wanted little baby bum on. Now she will come up to me and reach to sit on my knee and point towards a book or a toy. She can also point to her nose and her head if I ask her to point to them.
She loves it when I play peekaboo and finds it funny, she has just mastered how to hide behind the bed and pop up to do it herself. She will chase me around the house if I play 'hidey' with her, she find this hilarious. She will shuffle over if I call her name, although sometimes she ignores me but I think that's because I'm constantly calling her to test. She looks at your face and doesn't seem to struggle with eye contact, In fact she likes to try and poke my eyes out when I sing to her at night. She likes a cuddle and will often instigate it, equally she can bat me away if she wants to be down.
She goes to anyone she knows or even people she's not long met and puts her arms up (like a couple of my friends after lockdown) to be picked up. She smiles when she see's everyone, especially nana and her carer at nursery and loves to cuddle them all.
She recently has started to roll her ball over to me so we can play with it, and tonight she went and got her cat lamp (which is a squidgy ball like battery powered thing) and rolled it next to my feet, i'm thinking she wanted to play 'football'.
Prior to this she has never brought me anything to show, which worries me.
It seems really positive when I'm writing it all down but I can't shake it as some things she does makes me feel like something isn't right. She went through a big phase of flapping when excited or annoyed, which seems to have subsided a little but was very much a thing. Her hands just seem always up to something and busy, for example her latest thing is prodding and poking something repetitively which freaks me out a little. Like constant tapping. I'm wondering if she does this because she likes the noise the objects make or if she's getting some sort of sensory release? Or if she's just copying me texting on my phone? Either way its freaking me out but i'm not sure if I am just being hyper sensitive due to my anxiety. My friends say its just a baby thing, but I just don't know because this is my first and i was never a baby person before her.
I should mention that a week after the health visitor came, she was up on her feet and now she's unstoppable on would rather be cruising and climbing than anything else. She is getting really confident, she's walking with her walker and should be able to do it unaided soon.
Hoping other mams with a bit of experience can help me with my anxiety and let me know if I do have any legitimate worries. I'm new to parenting and I feel absolutely rubbish at it. There have been a few struggles both before and in lockdown as well as bringing my baby into the world and I just feel overwhelmed and a bit mentally unwell if I'm honest.
I have been to the doctors who have referred me to Talking Changes and i'm now on medication to help with my anxiety. I also spoke to the doctors about my daughter and she doesn't seem concerned and said she seems fine and actually said "so, she doesn't bring you things, that doesn't matter, as long as she's engaging and giving eye contact". It's just when you read everything online it contradicts that. I'm just finding it all so hard.