I'm sure post lockdown this is very common but my 3 year old ds ( 4 in 2 months) is experiencing some really severe separation anxiety, it seems to have really ramped up since starting nursery 4 months ago ( he does 15 hours). He's always been pretty clingy and focused on me but generally really sociable with others but post lockdown he's become really anxious.
He tells me over and over and over again from about 3/4pm the day before nursery that he's going to miss me ( i'm not exaggerating he says it repeatedly for hours) and whatever I say he will still sob, I've tried various distraction techniques and have tried not to dismiss his worries but after a while I lose patience sometimes as it really is constant. The reason it's tricky is that I need to work but also he seems to really enjoy it once he's there and has made some nice friends who we see outside of nursery and really likes his teachers and will spend half the week talking non stop about his friends there and things that happen there. If he seemed miserable all day I think I would be tempted to take him out or look for another , smaller nursery . I really don't want to do this as its next to his big sisters school that he will go to next year and I know she benefitted from having friends from nursery start with her ( she always loved nursery and barely looked back when she went in).
But I'm feeling a bit as a loss and I really dread the days we take him in as it breaks my heart ( we take it in turns to do drop off ) he also seems to be becoming anxious about going anywhere outside the home and becomes really stressed about things like singing groups, swimming ( won't let me let him go at all) and going to peoples houses. On saturday night my partner was away working and I was going to a friends and my mum ( who had him two days a week pre pandemic and has him one day now) was babysitting and he had a very sudden meltdown when I left . His tantrums are becoming worse too at home and he will often try to hit and bite me and my partner over quite small things , often its about trying new things ( watching a new film, going somewhere new) . It's making me so sad to see him like this and I'm finding it hard to always stay positive, it feels like he's forming these habits and becoming a bit obsessive about it and I just hate to think he's worrying all week about it. But I also know if i give in and don't take him, his worries will only get worse and he will get more anxious about going out.