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4 year old - help!

2 replies

jobsagudden · 02/07/2021 11:42

Hi,

I've posed about DD(4) before and I'm just at a loss as how to parent her at the moment. I feel like an absolute crap mum.

She is a lovely little girl (most of the time) really polite, well behaved, meeting all her milestones, shares, plays nicely with DD(2) loving.

But every night we are having this complete and utter meltdown from her where she just doesn't seem to care about anyone or anything and we have tried everything.

We have a bedtime routine of bath, story, cuddle and sleep. But every night she is refusing sleep and messing around, we were advised my HV to just ignore and repeat 'close your eyes, go to sleep' we have tried changing bed times in case to early for her but she is then completely shattered the next day.

After repeating go to sleep close your eyes, she starts to get frustrated with us, 'I don't like you', ' j want a new mummy / daddy' 'you are horrible' etc. We'll continue with go to sleep etc. Then it escalates further to hitting, scratching, screaming etc. Until about an hour after she will finally go to sleep.

We've tried talking to her before / in the morning about how her behaviour effects people, talked about feelings, reading books etc. But she just doesn't seem to care at all.

Sorry this post is a bit garbled I'm on 2/4 hours sleep a night as DD2 also not sleeping due to ongoing issues with allergies. Just feel like such a rubbish mum.

Can anyone offer any advice?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
jobsagudden · 02/07/2021 11:43

Just to mention too? We've also tried, story with tonie box, let her read in bed, magnesium spray, massage, calming music etc. None make any difference. She's also not allowed any screen time after 6pm.

OP posts:
Jannt86 · 02/07/2021 16:50

I have to agree with HV. If you're in the room with her she knows she's safe and loved so don't take any crap lol. Clear routine, lights out and no reaction to anything she says except 'it's bedtime' or something along that line. If she wants a cuddle or a hand on her chest fine but no talking or playing games. I'm very attachment focussed but I really think she is just trying her damndest to get her own way here. You can be firm and be her support at the same time. Believe me I know. I have a 3YO who likes to try and put the world to rights as soon as the lights are off too Grin Good luck xx

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