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23 month old not talking or pointing

15 replies

Shijo · 02/07/2021 01:36

Hey everyone. This is the first time I'm writing in a forum because I have no one to ask. A very worried first time mom here. I have a 23 month old son who doesn't say any word. He doesn't point. Instead he hand leads if he wants anything. He doesn't dance to music. He's very very affectionate, loves cuddling or kisses me without even asking sometimes. Good eye contact most of the time. He grew up in lockdown so he didn't have much opportunity to socialize with others. Been going to nursery for few hours for past two months.

He can imitate some of my facial expressions like blowing raspberries, playing with tongue. He repeats if I papa and dada but couldn't repeat anything else. He's keen to learn words. Keeps bringing me stuffs and raises it over his head and I tell him what it is. He does this quite often. Loves playing with car lying on the floor. He doesn't play alone much. He likes to involve me or my husband in his activities. Like if we are drawing, he gives me his crayon and asks me to draw by hand leading. His babbling changes once a while. Sometimes mama nana and sometimes papa dada !

He also imitates actions like rubbing Vicks, turning on dishwasher. If he watches me do something for a while then he tries to do it by himself. He loves reading books a lot. Keeps bringing it and makes us read.

He understands lot of my commands like bring me your water cup, close the door, bring me your ball, turn the lights off, eat, come here, bring me your shoes. If I ask him to point a color or an animal on his book, he can do it. But he points with thumb. He can point to body parts with index finger.

He can do some gestures like clapping, high five, blow a kiss, giving, reaching, he learned to wave bye bye recently but it's more like shaking his entire arm. He communicates with me in a way he knows how to. Like hand leading, eye contact, grunting. When I don't understand him he gets frustrated.

When I'm angry or when I'm crying he comes and makes me kiss him or he kisses me. R smiles when I smile. His dad coffees home only during weekends and when he sees him he runs and hugs him. But he doesn't do that with strangers. It will take a while for him to warm up with a stranger. Eventually he does warm up. His gross motor skills and fine motor skills are fairly good. Can climb, kick, eat with spoon, build blocks.

My main concern is he doesn't point at all. If I say, what do you want? Touch and show me. He will touch the object sometimes. Sometimes follows point. Mostly no. No single words yet. Responds to name as long as he's not busy doing something. Sometimes he doesn't care. He loves spinning wheels and playing with cars lying on floor. He sometimes walks on toes but stops when I say no. Loves watching TV but didn't imitate anything from TV. Could he be autistic? I'm so worried. His nursery people are concerned about his language delay but not concerned he's autistic because they feel he doesn't have any autistic traits. They said he's playing beside other kids but he's not interacting with them.

He was born 3 weeks early. Could that be the reason for language delay? I'm going crazy reading stuffs on internet. Thanks a lot for reading such a long post.

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 02/07/2021 03:37

The fact that he's bringing you things to engage with is a very good sign. Also the fact that he can follow commands and he IS pointing OP...I don't think it matters that he uses different fingers.

Are you seeing anyone about his language delay? You need to get that sorted...see the GP and ask for an appointment about it.

FortunesFave · 02/07/2021 03:39

I meant to elaborate. My friend's son was found to be autistic when he was 2 and a half. The first thing I noticed about him was that he never brought me anything....the way toddlers do....they usually just come up to you with a cup or a bear or whatever. He didn't do that at all. He never really reacted to much. He's 10 now and has good language but then he had none plus he didn't point at all, he didn't ever bring things to play with and never wanted to play with anyone else at all.

Have you done the MCHAT test?

Shijo · 02/07/2021 08:07

Hi fortunesfave, Thanks a lot for responding. He doesn’t point at things he wants like kids do. He hand leads instead. But uses thumb to point colours or animals on books when I ask. I spoke several times with the HV and they don’t seem concerned. His 24 month evaluation is in a month and I’m so worried xx

OP posts:
Shijo · 02/07/2021 08:10

Yeah his MCHAT is 4 !! He brings books often to me or my husband to read. Thank you for responding. I’m feeling relieved a bit x

OP posts:
Shijo · 02/07/2021 08:47

@FortunesFave

I meant to elaborate. My friend's son was found to be autistic when he was 2 and a half. The first thing I noticed about him was that he never brought me anything....the way toddlers do....they usually just come up to you with a cup or a bear or whatever. He didn't do that at all. He never really reacted to much. He's 10 now and has good language but then he had none plus he didn't point at all, he didn't ever bring things to play with and never wanted to play with anyone else at all.

Have you done the MCHAT test?

Bless her !!! Also I want to mention, if we are drawing together and he wants me to draw, he will give the crayon to me and push my hand to the paper instead of pointing. If I’m feeding him food, and he wants more, he will push my hand towards the bowl instead of pointing. He has eye contact sometimes while hand leading. He will use my hand to point at what he wants instead of his. If I specifically ask what is it you want, show me. He will touch the object sometimes with thumb xx
OP posts:
FortunesFave · 02/07/2021 12:47

If he's language delayed but understands commands, that's a very good sign but try not to focus on all these little things OP. It will spoil your experience of his early years. It's hard I know...but they do all develop differently.

Shijo · 02/07/2021 13:06

@FortunesFave

If he's language delayed but understands commands, that's a very good sign but try not to focus on all these little things OP. It will spoil your experience of his early years. It's hard I know...but they do all develop differently.
I totally agree. I have been going crazy over the things I read on internet. It’s very hard. You are very kind. Thank you x
OP posts:
HeyDuggeesFavouriteSquirrel · 02/07/2021 14:26

Hi Shijo, he sounds exactly like my son who is 23 months too, also three weeks early! I feel the same as you, I honestly don't know what to think. All the professionals I've seen say he's fine and will get there with language in time. My son does point but doesn't do it often, prefers hand leading.

Shijo · 02/07/2021 16:04

@HeyDuggeesFavouriteSquirrel

Hi Shijo, he sounds exactly like my son who is 23 months too, also three weeks early! I feel the same as you, I honestly don't know what to think. All the professionals I've seen say he's fine and will get there with language in time. My son does point but doesn't do it often, prefers hand leading.
Hey !! Tell me about it. It’s getting harder every day. I’m starting to notice every single thing. So thought I would get some inputs from here. Probably they are fine and we are just thinking too much. Also there’s this fact that they spent most of their life in lockdown. Hope your son speaks soon xx
OP posts:
Incik · 02/07/2021 18:52

Hi there,
I wonder if there is any change?
I am almost like in your situation:)
Thanks

r1911 · 17/04/2022 22:14

@Shijo hey! How is your son getting on? My son is very similar - any help or advice would be welcome

Vittoria123 · 27/08/2024 11:34

Shijo · 02/07/2021 16:04

@HeyDuggeesFavouriteSquirrel

Hi Shijo, he sounds exactly like my son who is 23 months too, also three weeks early! I feel the same as you, I honestly don't know what to think. All the professionals I've seen say he's fine and will get there with language in time. My son does point but doesn't do it often, prefers hand leading.
Hey !! Tell me about it. It’s getting harder every day. I’m starting to notice every single thing. So thought I would get some inputs from here. Probably they are fine and we are just thinking too much. Also there’s this fact that they spent most of their life in lockdown. Hope your son speaks soon xx

Hi
any update please ? ☺️

Vittoria123 · 27/08/2024 11:41

HeyDuggeesFavouriteSquirrel · 02/07/2021 14:26

Hi Shijo, he sounds exactly like my son who is 23 months too, also three weeks early! I feel the same as you, I honestly don't know what to think. All the professionals I've seen say he's fine and will get there with language in time. My son does point but doesn't do it often, prefers hand leading.

Hi how’s your son now ? X

HeyDuggeesFavouriteSquirrel · 27/08/2024 13:11

He completely caught up in the end.

Boymama0623 · 17/05/2025 05:23

Hi OP
Any update on your son?

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