Neighbours hate us

[xgembeanx]

Hi. I’m not sure where I should post this but I’m looking for advice really.
Now I’m not a parent that thinks my kids are angels and can do no wrong, quiet the opposite. If they have done wrong they will be in trouble. I have lived in my house for 15 n half years now. My neighbours to my left are just awful! They have no children. They are rude. They have major issues with us. In the beginning and up until about 4/5 years ago the husband would say hello to me and generally be polite. Then on day my son who was about 5 at the time, accidentally kicked his ball into their back garden…..I was heavily pregnant and asleep on the couch at the time….my partner put our son over the fence to get his ball (me personally would of knocked on and asked for it back but my partner has grown up where the neighbours are fine for the kid’s to get their balls etc) anyway the husband banged his fist on his window that hard and screamed at my son and scared him, so my partner has gone round, the husband never came to the door and instead his wife went in to tell my partner they are sick of the kids screaming and being loud and sick of hearing me shout! Now come on yes I do shout at them to keep the noise down or if they hear arguing etc and if I didn’t I’m sure they would have an issue with that too claiming I let them run wild! Anyway fast forward 4 years…..last night again the ball his their wall/drain pipe. I was inside, partner at work…..the wife comes out and shouts at my kids! I’m fuming! I had let it go last time abs just got on with our lives. So I knocked on, when she opened the door I told her that if she had an issue with my children to come and speak to me and I will deal with them….it escalated from there…I had both husband and wife stood at the door screaming at me, I shouted back to try and be heard. He was worse than her, his language and behaviour was extremely violent and threatening, at a few point stepping forward into my face. I wasn’t going to back down and let them think they could treat us how they wanted. He called my partner a bad dad and said he was encouraging my 8 year old son to break the law and commit crimes of trespassing and damage etc etc he said they were going to phone social services and council on us. I was so angry, I told them to go ahead and make their calls……I said my kids can play in their own garden if they like and that kids make noise! End of! She has even collected a bag of balls that she said were ours, some were some weren’t. I tried telling her that my kids are not throwing their balls to annoy her, it’s an accident! She then went on to call my kids wild feral animals! Now by this point I’m ready to grab her but somehow I managed not to. She has already reported us once that time when I was pregnant and the lady that came to see me agreed with me that kids are kids. 98% of the time they are in bed by 7.30! I told her her she could have worse neighbours who party and swear and trash the house all the time….she thought I was mad!
What the hell can I do about these awful people! They own their house so I’m not sure if the council can do anything, the way they both behaved was absolutely ridiculous, they both lost the plot! I told her that if she had issues to come and speak to me like an adult and if my kids had done wrong i would sort it and apologise, she can’t out refused and said she had better things to do!
Sorry for the long post but I’m just at a loss now! I have a really bad feeling they have been on my property while I have been away and now think things could get worse out of pure spite.
I was going to ring the council who I rent from and just make them aware of what happened, is that the right the thing to do?

What makes you think they’ve been on your property?

I admit I would have been pissed off at the kid being lifted onto my garden…but I wouldn’t hold a grudge for this long! It is annoying to hear constant thudding balls and shouting though, but then you accept that as part of living alongside others.

They were heard by other neighbours while I was away. Yes I agree I would of knocked on myself to get the ball but that’s not how my partner grew up, everyone was ok with kids getting their balls. And to be honest my kids don’t think the balls that much and are only really loud when they laugh, it’s nothing excessive or that you wouldn’t expect from with household with children. I rang the council and the lady laughed when I told her, she said kids are allowed to play and made a note of it for me. There are other children on the street that blast music and are just as loud as mine but they don’t seem to have a problem with them. Personally I think it’s because we stand up to them and lock out kids away like they want. They are just very very nasty odd people. After I wrote the original post I was walking to school the next morning and a man I don’t even know pulled me abs told me he lived on my street and witnessed everything and said the couple are in the wrong and he would be willing to write a statement backing me up. That made me feel so much better, I guess I started to actually doubt if my kids were really that bad

Get a cctv either hidden or indoor or a bit of both and put in a window or pot plant or hide in a nest box…. Ideas on the net. Get evidence if you think they have been on your property. Audio and motion detection recording. Build a record of incidents and either involve council, police or both. Start a journal and right all dates, times in it after they have occurred. The police would find this beneficial.

I am about to get cctv as above because I came home yesterday and my neighbours had trimmed my forsythia for me. They left all the cuttings on my side and on my shed roof. To achieve this they had to have come onto my property. I know by law they have the right to trim any overhanging up to the boundary line. And they have the right to throw it back on my side……. There was no overhanging, I have photographic evidence. What I am lacking is a recording of which one of them did it.

What they don’t have the right to do is walk onto my property (trespassing), reduce the height of my forsythia, trim beyond the boundary line.

These are the same new neighbours who got a puppy and shortly after I kept smelling dog pooh every time I was in my vehicle. I eventually discovered the dried dog pooh on my air vent of my vehicle. I had thought I had stepped in some. But it wasn’t difficult to know who had done it. All my other neighbours are lovely. I just have to come home every day and there have been times I have not wanted to come home. Even today I was stressing out about coming home. They are bullies. But the husband has never spoken a word to me. He ignores me or stands and stares at me. They fell out with virtually the whole street on arrival. Now I avoid and ignore them if I have the misfortune to mistime my coming or leaving….. Children have fun, grow and learn, laugh, cry, fall out but mature. Neighbours on the other hand, you can wait years for karma….

Yes it’s awful isn’t it. I have cameras up. But I haven’t made them aware of where they are or what I have been told.
But for a neighbour who I have never even met before approach me and back me up means a lot. I am polite to all neighbours but genera keep myself to myself. Nobody has ever had any issues in 15 years except them.
What she has said she wants is for me to take my wild feral animals to the park to be noises so she can relax! Yeah that won’t be happening. When I was close to losing it with her she backtracked abs said she never called them animals only that they acted like them.
Honest sometimes I think it’s w good job I was at hone with them alone when this happened because I’m not sure I would of been able to control my temper as well as I did, the protective mama bear button in me definitely got pushed.

But as you say, we have a right to be in our own gardens.

I am so livid, but went for a bike ride the other day which helped a lot to work out my pent up anger. Today I am so stressed out and didn’t want to come home for fear of them waiting for me like they did at the beginning. I know they are bullies, cowards etc.

A lot of what I have read of other people’s ongoing or resolved neighbour problems have been helpful and encouraging.

I have a question:

Can the police do anything for neighbours who make others lives a misery? Or will the council do anything? Or do your have to do it yourself via a solicitor you cannot afford…….Is there a difference between neighbours who own their own properties and those who rent?

I think the council or police can from what I have read. If you type it in google about abusive neighbours it should bring lots of info up about steps you can take

Thank you so much! Currently I don’t want to come home and I want to move after 21 years just because of them. I am so stressed!

🤣 oh here we go with the keyboard warriors! Maybe you should go back and carefully read my post! Asking for advice NOT sympathy!!! Obviously my neighbours should of moved next door to someone like you! Who must of been a 'brat' as a child because you certainly are acting like an adult brat right now......you don't want noise or kids or playing....don't move to a family orientated area! Kids play, laugh, make noise and make mistakes just like adults.....does not make them brats....makes them human! Maybe stuck up nasty bullying neighbours just like yourself need to take a long hard look in the mirror and grow some brain cells and learn the way things work when kids are around! Oh PS.....Just for your information....they did complain....and guess what.....the council agree with me! On all counts!!!! All your comments do is tar all kids with the same brush....my children PLAY not go robbing OAPS and shops like some BRATS do..... toodles 👋 😃

Presumably you want a happy, peaceful relationship with your neighbours.
We live next door to three primary aged children who (often with their friends) play football in the garden. Despite a goalpost and a high net screen installed by their parents the ball on occasion is loudly booted into the fence, comes over onto our flowers or hits us when we are sitting in the garden. Sounds of footie send us indoors as it is dangerous to sit out.
However we accept it. Children need to play out. Our sons, inexpertly aiming to be Rooney, bugged one particular neighbour when they were young.
Hearing the words “Sorry. Can we have the ball back please?” and “Thank you” when it is returned would go a long way with us. If only it happened my DH wouldn’t be as tense as your NDN.
Charm them into a state of peace. Just a thought.

Sorry should of been more clear, they aren't the large footballs, they are small soft balls, and it was once in a blue moon, certainly not every day or week and they never hit them or caused any damage. They were just nit picking really. And yes I agree....i told her to be normal and if she knocked on and spoke like she wasn't possessed then the whole conversation would of been different but they just aren't those kind of people......they speak to not 1 single person....ever.
Us saying sorry can we have the ball back would make not the slightest bit of difference unfortunately 😕

And that is not fair for you and your family, you should not have to put with screaming children making noise playing foorball, you should be able to enjoy your garden, either bin or pop the balls or fight fire with fire and make noise when they come out.

🤣🤣🤣 my children are just normal children. And I will not lock them away to make spiteful hateful sad people like you happy. People like you are why the world is the way it is......HATEFUL.

Two women neighbours next door are nasty,trouble started when neighbour moved in her yappy friend,been to door and complained but they like to gossip,can imagine what they have said,lm.a women by myself and refuse to be bullied by them.😉