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Separation Anxiety- Please help :(

1 reply

Heymumma29 · 29/06/2021 08:36

My daughter has always been a clingy baby, but we have never pandered to it and she has regularly been to sleepovers, staying with others and nursery 4 x a week since she was 11 months. She is now 3, soon to be 4 and starting school in September. Nursery drop offs are a nightmare and usually twice a week I end up bursting into tears at how traumatising dragging her off me and shoving her in the door has been. Nursery have said she’s absolutely fine when she gets in there and shows no other issues through the day, it’s just leaving me that’s the issue. We’ve tried reward charts etc but they don’t work. I’ve tried reassuring her beforehand and she tells me she is going to have a good drop off with no tears then when we get to the door it’s a whole different story. If I ask her what makes her sad, she will say she just misses me so much and doesn’t ever want to leave me. If anyone else drops her, she is fine. It’s me that is the catalyst and makes things worse but no one else can help, I have to do drop offs due to work timings.

She starts school in September and I am terrified about the drop off situation. I’m so scared it’s a big change and I’m going to be peeling her off me everyday. I just don’t know what to do. Do I need to look into separation anxiety more, contact a psychologist? I just have no idea how to address this situation. I feel like I do everything I’m supposed to, but it’s not enough and I’m at my wits end by leaving her distraught every morning. Any advice will be much appreciated!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BunnyRuddington · 29/06/2021 21:53

I feel like I do everything I’m supposed to, but it’s not enough and I’m at my wits end by leaving her distraught every morning.

It does sound distressing, what have you tried so far? I've heard that things like starting a jigsaw in the morning together helps. You can then remind them that you'll finish it together when you get home. Giving them something of yours often helps as well.

My daughter has always been a clingy baby, but we have never pandered to it and she has regularly been to sleepovers.

All the things I've read on separation anxiety say to do exactly the opposite. So basically give her lots of attention, and don't force the issue. Obviously you can't do that at nursery drop off but you can show her that you've got her back at other times.

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