2.5 year olds tantrums

[hansnava]

hi all,

my dd is 2.5years old and i can honestly say is driving me and dp mad.

she just seems to cry constantly and whinges none stop, but its her tantrums that are really bad. she doesnt cry when shes having them she screams and i mean ear piercing screams that would shatter glass.
yesterday in the car she was throwing one and it was so bad dp completely lost his temper and stopped his car in the middle of the road and screamed at the top of his lungs at her telling her to shut up. now a day later hes not talking to me or her, hes just shut himself in our bedroom all day.
worse thing is, is he has said we r never having ne more kids and he means it.
i just feel in the middle of it all.

help

stuck in the middle

it does get better!

my DD1 still does the screaming whingeing but no where near as much as before.

coping strategies i used/use were ignoring it (very hard when you can see the cracks starting to form in the windows).

i walk out of the room if she's screetching - she follows but i keep moving!!

talk in a low voice - so that she has to stop to hear

whinging - i say i can't understand you when you whine, tell me in a proper voice

start doing something like filling the washing machine - she wants to help so takes her mind off things

your DP needs to get a grip and work with you to get through this phase, easier said than done as DP and i fell out lots when it started...

Low voice
Distraction
Ignoring
It does get better and the above skills once mastered and can be used on anyone annoying wherever they are encountered.

i ditto all the above - me and dh also fall out over have to handle ds when he does this. We are now singing from the same song sheet (it was me that used to loose it not him), and things are a lot calmer.

I also do the "i'm not listening while you are making that noise, mummy will listen when you speak properly"....if he looses it, then he gets choices depending on what he has lost it over - say he wanted a buscuit and went into one cos i opened the tin instead of him.....he gets a choice, either mummy opens it or no biscuit. DON'T try and reason with them "why are you screaming, stop shouting, it's no big deal, u don't have to open it" you need short and sharp...."soandso, mummy does it or u don't get it...." wait few secs, replace biscuit tin.....

the thing is shes sooooo high will powered she doesnt back down from anything, and im really not lying.

shes so loud too, the day she was born my brother came to visit and when he asked the midwife on the ward where i was i was she told him to follow the loudest cry, i was all the way down the bottom of the ward.

if she doesn't back down, then neither should you, she will eventually, honest!

how do you deal with the tantrums do you remove her and sit her in uiet time to calm down

if ifnoring doesnt work then removing them to calm down is the best then go and tell her its not right to act in that way end of and then go and play a game to distract her

praise all good behaviour no matter how small and remove when bad

she'll soon learn how to get your attention is by being good and needs a consequence to her actions

screaming and ignoring her is quite childish really as all kids have tantrums its how you handle them that makes the difference and maybe she'll create more to get his attention

do differewnt activities to keep her occupied through out day and if she tantrums give a warning if you dont calm down i will put you in quiet time if still doesnt stop remove her get to her level in calm voice i told you if you didnt calm down i would remove you sit here and calm down

if you shout and dp shouts she will learn to shout if you stay calm she will learn to stay calm it wont cure over night but if you are consistant they react well to that

my ds2.6 used to tantrum terrible but he learnt mummy meant what she said and i stayed calm most of the time lol and spoke at his level and now maybe a week can go by with no serious taatnrum and no need for quiet time

sorry for spelling lol typing too quick lol