30mo sleep probs after going back to work FT?

[fludnelb]

((LOOOONG POST SORRY!))

Hi, my DS (30 months) has always been a reasonably good sleeper, but recently is taking FOREVER to get to sleep - we're talking 1.5 to 2 hours. It's usually on days he goes to the CM (3 days a week). When he has been at home with his dad he usually falls asleep as soon as we put him down.

Seems to have got worse since I started work full-time...

I don't know what to do - can't really shout at him cos he's not being difficult. He doesn't cry - just lies in bed and chats to teddy; sometimes gets out of bed to pull toys in but not often.

The problem is that when he does this, he usually wakes up once or twice in the night, and usually gets up early too - so is an absolute grump the next day or on the weekend (when I am home with him and usually end up shouting! So much for quality time!)

He refuses to nap when he's at home, but will do at the childminder - but it makes no difference to night-time sleep if he naps or not if he has been to CM.

If at home, he will sleep 12 straight hours at night and so is as happy as larry the next day.

Someone suggested using medised to try and break the cycle, but I am not keen on drugging him, especially if it some emotional thing... Just getting a bit worn out!

Anyone had anything similar?

Thanks ladies

how long is it since you went back to work?.....my son (will be 3 in dec) went a few weeks of the same thing, would just lie in bed chatting to himself....

he wasn't up in the night but was waking at least an hour or so earlier than normal too..... but he's out of it now.....if he's behaving then surely it cant be too much of a problem....and i'm sure he'll grow out of it soon enough, it must just be a phase....

I know you say the nap isn't affecting his sleep but if he sleeps at the CM during the day and then takes a long time to go to sleep it may be the nap. Can the CM cut the nap back a bit - maybe no more than 1 hour or 45 mins?. it may take a few days/a week of the new nap regime for the tiredness to kick in.

It is probably a combination of having a nap at the cm so not being so tired and wanting to spend time with his parents. I know my ds would go to sleep more easily generally on the days I or dh were home than on the days he was with his cm (where he had a nap every day). He also dropped his nap with us much earlier than with the cm

Whe ds moved to nursery at 3 years old he dropped his nap (too much excitement and stuff going on to sleep) and after a week or so of so of us and nursery (no naps except for the odd one here and there with us) and he was going to sleep easily at night again.

My DD started this at bedtime, when she was around the same age. I couldn't blame it on going back to work - as I went back to work when she was 7 months and she had been with the same childminder all that time.

My clue was " but Mummy - I don't want to go to sleep - I want to be with you I haven't seen you enough" I was working four days a week and the days that I was working and she was with CM I left work at 5.30pm, by the time I had collected them from CM and got home it was time to start getting ready for bed.

So I spoke to my boss explained the situation and I went back to five days a week - but shorter days finishing a 3pm on CMinder days 3 days and 4pm on the days she was with my mum, worked a dream.
I still do these hours and it is much better - I can collect LO's from Nursery and school 3 days a week.

Could this be similar to your situation - I don't know what hours you work so may not be but thought it worth posting!

I've been back full-time for 2 months now; I worked 3 days a week before and I guess he did play up on the 2 days he was with the CM then - just not as much or for as long! So I guess it probably is just that he wants to spend time with me now that he realises things have changed ... I just wish I could make him realise that he would have a lot more fun playing with mummy if he went to bed on time and woke up happy!

Unfortunately changing my hours isn't an option as I took the job on the understanding that it was FULL full-time... but thanks for the feedback anyway; I guess we will just see when this phase passes!