"dd is worst behaved child he has seen"

[Carbonel]

My dd's (age 6) ENT consultant told me this today . He says he has seen thousands of children and she is definitley the naughtiest and have we considered that she may have behavioural issues.

I was gobsmacked - she can be difficult to handle but I did not realise she was this bad - not sure what to do about it now?

Should I go to the GP and try to get her referred to someone; if so to whom and what does it involve? What sort of behavioural issues might he mean - she is generally well behaved at school although her teacher says she is 'immature' , but mainly attributes that to her being one of the youngest (summer birthday)

I feel so worried now

Can you ask him what he means?

Why is an ENT consultant commenting on behaviour? Wouldn't the school have been in touch more if she was as bad as he says?

I agree with Doo, does an ENT consultant have any experience with behavioural difficulties.

Could he be misinterpreting her fear as naughtiness. When my DS was her age he was terrified of doctors and was v. difficult trying to get him to sit still while being examined.

If you are genuinelly worried, I would speak to the school, they know her better than this consultant does.

I think you need to speak to him, and insist he clarify.

If the school, who see her every day, aren't particularly concerned, I don't see why the ENT consultant feels especially qualified to comment.

Perhaps make an appointment to talk to your DD's teacher about his remarks and get a more informed view?

I feel very for you.

I would ask the ENT to be more specific - what on earth was she doing that made him realise she was so terribly behaved. I find it hard to believe that she could have done anything so awful. And, if her school haven't mentioned anything about this appalling behaviour, I wouldn't worry. I would try and talk to the teacher though to see if she can shed some light on this.

I also think that, whatever he thought, it was not his place to say - I would be tempted to complain. If it were her teacher etc, I would accept it but from an ENT? That's a bit like the postman commenting.

Thanks for your support.

I think he was only trying to help - he has seen her a couple of times a year for the last 3 years so he has seen the pattern.

She started a new school this term so they do not know her that well yet but they are fairly happy with her, altho she has always been better at school than elsewhere.

She has always had issues with adults - she is a very sociable child generally with her peers but seems scared of adults and hides that by behaving in a very silly, babyish manner, using a high pitched voice and generally refusing to cooperate. She still has bad tantrums and struggles to control her temper. Once she has got used to someone she goes to the other extreme and is all over them.

I thought she had been getting better recently - she will now initiite a conversation with unknown adults, altho she does it in an inappropriate manner but I am loathe to stop her at this stage as she is just beginning to interact with adults at all.

I have asked friends and family but they are quite cool about things - my brother says "she's 6 and 6 years olds 'dick' around" and friends with similar aged children say she is fine (but then she knows them well enough to be natural maybe)!

If there is someone we could talk to (psychologist?) who could help (if she needs it) I would want to do something for her.

She sounds like a 6 year old - they don't necessarily have all the social skills they'll need. She's still learning.
I still think that if she is so terribly behaved, the school would know by now. Being silly and childish may not be the best way to behave in some situations but, for a 6 year old, it is perfectly appropriate.

Talk to the school - if they think there may be an issue, even if they haven't seen her at her worst, they can refer her to an educational psychologist who will observe her in class and make recommendations.

You could also discuss this with your gp, who may be able to make other suggestions/ referals.

I'm sorry this happened

I agree that the ENT should not express an opinion on behavioural issues of a patient as a doctor, however, many exasperated adults may offer the same opinion without a medical degree, may he/she be one of the latter?

If you want to do something for her... to be honest a child psychologist's is not the first door to knock at.

When you see her with other children her same age, how does she looks like to you? do you think her behaviour is significantly different from other 6 year olds? do you think that something may be improved by reviewing rules and boundaries at home?

I have a child that really struggles to break the ice when he first met with people (whether he knows them or not), he tends to misbehave on some things. Sometimes I feel like I should allow him some space considering his shyness, but the truth is that any bad behaviour will make the situation far worse, it is already difficult enought to break the ice being so shy, now if the other people start to reject him because of his behaviour the problem would be far worse (I confess I been there and introducing more consistency to get a best behaviour made it easier for the people to reach to him when he couldn't get the courage to reach to them. When he was misbehaving his rejection to open up was made worse by the rejection of the others to reach to him.

Perhaps this is not nice to hear, actually... I know is NOT nice to hear. But I'm posting this here because I have seen my child become more "socially accepted" which in turn has made his fear to open up more bearable, since his behaviour improved.

my grammar skills, on the other hand, are far from being improved!