5 year old's explosive behaviour

[bretonyspears]

Looking for some advice. I feel like my daughter who is nearly 6 has never escaped the 'terrible twos'. I'm sitting here in tears writing this, I'm at my wit's end and I feel desperately sad for her that she feels so angry and frustrated all the time.

Here's some examples of her behaviour from the last 24 hours:

We went to the play park, she tripped and grazed my knee, instead of letting me help her she ran off screaming towards a busy road leaving me with the impossible choice of abandoning her little brother to chase her. Luckily a kind stranger helped out.

She said something funny, I laughed, she accussed me of laughing at her/making fun of her and stormed off crying.

When she was being kind and pleasant during a chat on our way to school I told her it was nice to chat to her when she is in a good mood and she told me that she is always sad and when she seems happy it's just that she's pretending 💔

I am far from perfect, she caught me crying this morning and I told her that I was 'fed up' which led her to say "you're fed up of me, you hate me" and have a melt down. I tell her that I love her many times a day. I couldn't love her any more. I just don't know how to help her. I thought she would grow out of this but it's becoming obvious that she just isn't happy. I am letting her down but I don't know what to do.

I don't really have anything that's going to help but you could start by talking to her teacher. Ask what she's like in class and what her friendships are like. Do they have any concerns?

It might also be worth reading The Explosive Child

You are not letting her down at all. You are aware of her needs and you're aware something might not be quite right and asked for suggestions here. If things don't improve you could speak to her teacher to see how she is in school and ask the GP for advice. What more could a loving Mum do?

*she told me that she is always sad and when she seems happy it's just that she's pretending

I wouldn't take that too literally. She is 5 and she is exploring different emotional expressions and imagination.

It is worrying for her when you are sad, hence the meltdown. And as a 5 year old she is at the centre of her own world, she can't imagine her Mum would be sad about anything except her!

I second the recommendation for Explosive Child. Plus I also recommend The Unwritten Rules of Friendship It focusses on how children interact with their peers but it does also cover some adult-child interactions and you might find some of the suggestions in the chapters "The Pessimistic Child" and "The Sensitive Soul" useful (and maybe one or two of the others, skim through the contents and see what you find!)