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4 yo masturbating - please help!

5 replies

Coffeeonadrip · 20/06/2021 16:58

My 4.5yo girl has discovered it's nice to rub herself onto items like side of the sofa or the top of the climbing frame Confused

She is aware of what she's doing, does it because it feels nice and she likes it - she says. Gets as far as panting which is so uncomfortable to watch. Apparently does it all the time at nursery (she says), I haven't spoken to the nursery about it yet. Once we've clocked onto what she's doing (which took us a long time to! I thought she was just swinging on the climbing frame that she has in the garden), we've tried ignoring it, distracting her but she gets upset a bit about being stopped. I probably shouldn't have, but told her today if she keeps doing it so much it will hurt and bleed and she'll have to go to hospital. That made her concerned a bit, she hasn't thought about it. I'm worried about uti as well if she keeps doing it.

For context, she's quite mature for a 4 yo and she's bored easily, especially in nursery. She's starting Reception in September and she's been ready for school for a very long time (hence boredom).

Please tell me this is normal. We're freaking out! Do I need to speak to anyone (Gap, health visitors)?? What do I do?????Shock

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 20/06/2021 17:49

Tell her she's to do it in private and its not appropriate in public. Direct her to her room if she starts doing it. Dont say silly things like she'll need to go to hospital

wildeverose · 20/06/2021 19:41

Absolutely don't tell her it will hurt her, it's completely natural and extremely common.
Tell her it's perfectly fine to do so, but it's private and she must only do it in private and in her own room, and not in front of others.
You don't need to speak to anyone, they'll just tell you it's absolutely natural.

rosiegarden · 21/06/2021 20:21

We all say daft things to our kids at times, so don’t worry about that. Just explain it’s something people do in private, like going to the loo, & then ignore it. Mine used to do it to soothe herself at times, so I tried to think of it as a sign of independence. I know what you mean about the noise, they can be quite graphic! But it’s totally, absolutely, normal.

Earfling · 21/06/2021 20:25

You need to apologise and correct the conversation you had with her today, with her.

Tell her it is something that feels nice but is something that should only be done in private in her room.

And start a conversation about NSPCC Pants conversation too.

Coffeeonadrip · 22/06/2021 09:36

Thanks everyone!

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