Food overboard!!! When will it end?!

[chelseamorning]

Hi

Our one year old DS is doing very well with his assisted walking (oh, my poor back!) and 'talking'. However, he stopped eating finger food a couple of months ago and now, whenever I give him something to eat himself, he just holds it to the side of his highchair, looks and me and then drops it on the floor. I try not to react and just comment on the fact that he's dropped it and so now can't have it.

I know it's just a phase but it's been going on now for a couple of months. Only rarely wil he eat a mouthful himself, usually a breadstick. But then he quickly gets bored and over it goes! Meanwhile I have to spoon feed him. Is this normal? Is he just a bit slow in this area?

I"ve tried putting him on a mat on the floor with food on a plate but he just throws the food away from him, seeing where it lands, and then just sits there. He does a similar thing with his toys, BTW!!!

Any advice on how to coach him out of this behaviour and to encourage him to eat by himself would be most welcome!!

It is all quite normal happens to everyone, it's about the only time I wished we had a dog for instant clear up!

They are just experimenting with a) what will actually happen to the food and b) getting you to react

Thanks, Furball. I know it's normal but for two months? It's driving me nuts. I'm fed up of wasting food by trying to coax him to eat it by himself. I guess I should just let him get on with it. Just don't want to be spoon feeding a two year old!!!!

If he's hungry, he'll eat it. If he's throwing it around, he's not hungry. Don't coax or react, just take it away when he starts chucking it around.

I doubt you will be chelseamorning. My 14 mo dd does a special line in food flinging too. The best way I've found to encourage her not to do it is to sit her alone, in her high chair in the kithchen and ignore her altogether during meal times. I load the dishwasher, do the washing etc. If i make even the slightest bit of eye contact over it goes.

She eats fine at nursery with the other kids there and staff who aren't emotionally involved in how much she eats, how she eats, etc. si i console myself with that. I'm going for the pure ignorance option of behaviour modification, I thibk this is quite a long "phase" they go through talking to friends but they do get over it eventuallY!

do you eat with him? He could be associating finger food as a game and the business of eating is being spoon fed. perhaps try eating with him so he sees how to do it
also perhaps just do finger food for a bit so that the option of being spoon fed is not there

Sounds simple, Frogs, but I know that he throws finger food away even when he is hungry. Are you suggesting that I don't feed him from the spoon, give him only finger food, and if he doesn't eat it, then that's it?

My other issue is the fact that he wakes up at night if he hasn't had enough calories so I'm caught between a rock and a hard place...

If I don't bother giving him finger food at all, I'm concerned that he'll be unable or unwilling to feed himself with a spoon/fork down the line.

At nursery they offer food every two to three hours and make them sit down to eat it. If they don't eat at lunch time- no problem offer them a more substantial snack mid afternoon. This way they still get fed but learn that food is not for throwing and that if they want to eat then they need to feed themselves. You are also more relaxed as you know he only has to last a couple of hours and not all afternoon. Eating with children is also really important

I always sit down to eat with him. He has food every two to three hours, otherwise he's hungry during the night.

I've also tried turning my back on him while he eats finger food. He drops it whether I'm in the room or not.

I guess my questions are: Should I only be giving him food that he can pick up and eat, and not give him ANYTHING he has to eat from a spoon from me? Is the 'finger food' stage vital, in order that he learns to eat food himself, or will he just develop an urge to be independent and use a spoon/fork down the line?

At 1 ds would have quite a good go at getting a spoon into his mouth - usually with quite a lot of the contents on it. Perhaps you could try this? (you might need some extra spoons!). This would mean that if he wants the things that you normally spoon feed him - ie those things that he presumably considers to be 'food' - he will have to have a go himself. Best option is something like a 1/2 filled yoghurt pot as this contains food quite well and is easier to get a spoonful out of than a plate or a larger bowl where you might be chasing the food round with the spoon.

I discovered that I had to ban our dog from the kitchen at meal times as ds thought it was a really good idea to take things off his plate and deliberately drop them to the waiting dog below. Dog was allowed back in to clear anything up that had got dropped after the meal was ended.

Good tip about the yogurt pot, Mistlebrush.

I've tried giving him chunks of cheese (a favourite), and 'helping' him to stab them with a fork. It works occasionally while I"m helping him. However, most of the time he just takes the cheese off the fork with the other hand and drops it on the floor!! I know there's some game playing here but not sure how best to deal with it.

I'll give your spoon idea, Mistlebrush, and see where it takes us! Wish we had a dog to help with clean up!!!

Oops, I've just put my glasses on and realised you're Mistlethrush, not Mistlebrush! I'm so sorry! Sometimes spending the day in a blur without glasses has it's advantages...!