Explaining tampax, pads and periods to little ones

[TeddyBared]

Just a quickie.... my three sons are little and probably don't need it all explained right now, but I do not want to be like my mother was around the subject of periods.

She never told me about periods and was always embarrassed about the whole thing. I want to be able to have my personal items in my cupboard, never hide them under lock and key like she did and be reasonably open about what they are for.

I have a friend who has three sons around ten and I admire the way she has her tampax out in the bathroom. They are not hidden and it is not all a big secret.

Anyone got any suggestions as to how to explain these things now when my sons are little and as they get older? I don;t want to frighten them!!

Yes.... you see... no-one ever explained periods to me and so I kinda found out and it was all very secretive and hush hush and so I felt embarrased about it . I do not want that for my children. I don't want any secrets and I want them to understand. But I don't want to upset or frighten them.

I wish someone had been open and explained it all to me witha smile

I've always had boxes of tampax lying about not very obviously on view but not hidden either. Dds never asked. If they asked in public toilets at those machines I just told them a fib when they were really wee. Pesonally, I find 9 a good age for all teh ins and outs.

Yes I do see it could be very awkward for you if it was a shameful subject in your family when you were growing up

could you have a practice with your dp, to just have a go at getting the words out without sounding too desperately tense? I found it quite hard saying vulva out loud to my ds the first time he asked me about what I had instead of a willy

it does get easier with repetition

My dd is 22 months and asks what's that? Pointing at ds 4 months penis. 'Penis' I say, 'What's that?' pointing at her vulva. 'Vulva' I say and so it goes 4 or 5 times every other bath time. My bf thinks I'm mad telling her. She said you can't make her call it vulva and penis she's too young. Thing is I don't make her call them anything, she asked me what they were called. She can call them what they like. Tell the truth.

My tampons have always been out in the open and I've been braced waiting to be asked what they are for the last 10 years. But my oblivious dss never once asked what they were until at the age of 10 when ds1 learnt about periods at school.

I did try to take matters into my own hands and tell ds1 anyway but as soon as he heard the words girls or women he switched off and asked me about football instead.

In fact even having learnt about the whole deal at school he is incredibly uninterested in anything connected with females. Fascinated by the thought of having wet dreams though

My children have often seen me change my tampax. My mother told my sister and I about periods when we were about 9/10 and we went right off to tell the news to our 5 year old brother (he's now a doctor like our father is). Some families are just happier to talk about those things than others.

I've always told my DC's that they have a 'winky' and 'bits', It's the names my mum gave them, but when DD was asking about why I had to go the hospital and I explained a VBAC to her I had to tell her that the 'proper' name for bits, the one the doctors use is vagina, and that a winky is a penis. She still uses winky and bits but knows the words now, I honestly think that at her age (6/7) it is the easiest time to tell them anything, because they havent reached the embarrassment stage, but are able to understand.

at vagina being 'the one the doctors use'... nhs branching out? or do you find no use for your vagina yourself?

ha, well the word, it was the best way to explain to her that it was the 'proper' word and that although people use all sorts of words for it (to which she proceeded to tell me all sorts of examples) the real word for it was a vagina, and that was why it was called a vaginal birth after caesarian, because everyone knows that word, so rather than the doctors getting confused with everyone using their own personal names, like 'winky' and 'bits' they used the 'proper' words.

Ahhhh! now I see, had images of vaginas being 'used' by drs as opposed to the 'word' vagina being used by drs

Having spotted that tell-tale blue string, my sister - then about 5 - asked my mum what it was. My mum then tried her best to explain, without going into too much detail, about periods etc and what tampax are. Apparently sis' sat there with a look of extreme concentration on her face and then, when my mum had finished, declared:

"Oh, I see - you eat it."

i frequently get asked by my dd1-she's 9 now but she's been asking ever since i can remember. i just tell her the truth.she has a younger brother and sister who let her do all the asking but i have heard them sniggering whilst my dd1 is asking.as recently as yesterdayas she walked in on me on the loo as they doshe asked me when her periods would start. i told her it all depended on her body and that everyone's different. i then told her that we are all born with our eggs and that one is released every month. if i didn't have sex,then my womb lining would break down and i would bleed. she said,"I know we have eggs when we're born.Is the womb lining like a nest for the egg to be kept warm?". i thought that was very well thought out and sometimes they know surprisingly more than we give them credit for.

I agree that you have to be honest and answer kids questions when they ask. If they are ready to ask questions then they are ready to have answers.Its important to do it gradually though and always good to tell kids how you felt and what feelings they can expect to feel. I think its always better coming from us than the school playground. If you want a helping hand look at "Growing up and keeping safe". by sensecds.com. They cover puberty. I have a copy at home that I used and it was great

Crikey! I just told DD (4) that sometimes blood comes out of mummies and they have to have special mummy nappies, that it doesn't hurt and is nothing to worry about.

She seemed happy with that and often asks at the supermarket if I need any 'special nappies'...

DD2 who is 18 months old watches me change my tampon, and often bends down to try & look up to see where it has gone....DD1 who is 4 knows they are "ladies' things" that she will know more about when she is bigger, & is fairly happy with that (now she knows they are definitely not sweeties in my bag).

I have always been open about periods with all my dc, but as I more often use pads than tampons, dd1 (13) didn't know what they were
when I asked her if she'd like to use them, in the hope that it might save her sheets a bit during HER period. She asked what tampons are and when I explained where they go she said "Urgghhh! No!!" which made me think that underage sex may be off the cards for her for a little while yet!

Choosy/TB/SFAH, my mum was v.similar - totally mortified by products and didn't tell me anything about it as she was too embarrassed. What a shame for her when my two younger brothers were playing ?cowboys and indians? doing the woowoowoo thing and slapping their lips with a giant-size, bridge-like sanitary towel each attached to their foreheads when we had 'company' in the house.

I'm quite matter-of-fact with my daughter, she's 2, and I tell her they're to keep me nice and clean, which she's happy with. When she gets more specific, I will. Definitely no hiding.

My dds often accompany me to the loo - such a joy! We refer to my tampons as "mummy's medicine", that seems to satisfy and no further questions have yet been asked.

saltaire - pmsl at your ds, classic!