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Normal 3 year old behavior?

4 replies

GGS01 · 07/06/2021 22:28

My son turned 3 year old recently and he is becoming a nightmare of late. He will not eat any home cooked food. The only foods he eat are to be served with nutella and then he eats about a quarter of what he is offered.
He is becoming very aggressive. He has always had big tantrums but now he hits me and bites me when he is angry. I have bled a fair few times from his bite. He plays rough too. Whenever he can, he climbs my shoulders and yanks my hair. Or hits he with his toys. He hits his friends when angry and pushes babies for fun.
He will not listen to a single word I say. Brushing teeth, showering, nappy changes are all a huge struggle. I can't even potty train him because he won't sit on the potty. He doesn't speak well except for a few single words and phrases. His nursery says it's ok and he will catch up soon. He is quite well behaved at nursery and eats his food much better than at home.
Everything to do with him is a battle and it is getting me down. I wish he would listen to us once in a while. Even if it is something he likes, he says no just coz we ask him. I can't even read to him coz he won't sit still for a few seconds.
Is this normal 3 year old behavior or am I doing something wrong?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BunnyRuddington · 08/06/2021 07:20

It does sound as if you're both struggling.

I think the not being able to talk is significant and I'm surprised that his Nursery are dismissing it.

Have a look here at what speech and language a 3 year old should have, it also says when to seek help. You can self refer for a hearing test and speech and language therapy in most areas.

What have you tried for the hitting and biting so far?

GGS01 · 08/06/2021 12:33

He understands the word hurt. So when he is being rough, I tell him that he is hurting me. He sometimes understands and stops if he is just having fun. But when he is in a rage, I will have to hold his hands and push him away. I recently found out that holding him at arms length helps to get his rage under control and then he will come in for a hug. I have shown the bite marks after he calms down and I think he knows it was wrong to bite. But he does it again when he gets mad. I have tried everything like yelling, giving him a hug and talking to him once he is calm, walking away and ignoring him. I am not sure anything is getting to him. He has always been a little stubborn and sensitive.
With his language, we are a multilingual house. My husband and I speak different languages to him and he hears English at the nursery. So far he seems to be saying only English words. His carer asked us to wait for a few months before consulting with someone else. They are trying to get him to talk more by holding up cards and having one to one sessions with him.

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AladdinMum · 08/06/2021 23:27

I agree with the previous poster about nursery dismissing his speech delay, it sounds severe even for a multilingual household - a typical three year would be able to understand hundreds/thousands of words and phrases. A hearing test and speech therapy would certainly be recommended to help him better communicate.

Frolickingfoam · 09/06/2021 18:29

It sounds like autism. I would go to your gp and ask for a referral. Good luck, it sounds tough but getting the right support will be a good step.

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