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3YO won't join in with things

2 replies

Jannt86 · 29/05/2021 11:16

Ok my 3YO is really starting to worry me now. She does dancing and cheerleading. Dancing have already told me she seems happy enough in the class but that she almost never actually joins in and last week she was the only one that came out wearing the wrong type of shoes because she wouldn't even let them change them. Cheerleading insist that she does join in but when I see little videos they post there's kids half her age copying them and she's just pouting in the corner. When I ask if she wants to go back she always says yes but it's driving me insane I can't lie. She's also struggling with her speech pronounciation and I think this is also because she's just so damned stubborn about imitating and being taught something however you present it to her. I know a lot of it is shyness so getting cross at her isn't going to help but tbh it's driving me nuts because I think a lot of it is deliberate opposition too. She did a first swimming lesson last week and refused to even get in the water for half the lesson. The instructor told me just leave her but the ONLY thing that worked was me telling her she was being silly and that if she didn't get in I wasn't bringing her back again at which point she dived in no problem. I'm putting so much money and effort into things like this and even speech therapy in the hope that it'll make her more able to join in etc at preschool and school but I don't know if it's even helping or hindering.... Does anyone have a kid like this who's so relentlessly stubborn and against the grain? Do they grow out of it? Would people recommend I am firm and pull her out of these classes if she doesn't join in more or just leave her be? I do try the softly softly approach but find that if I give her an inch she takes a mile eg with the swimming. I need tips on how to be firm without upsetting her or scaring her. TIA

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NoKnit · 30/05/2021 20:46

She sounds a bit young for activities like that to be honest. Mine were both the same at that age. Also swimming, cheerleading and swimming seems like a large amount of stuff. Could reduce it just to one activity a week?

It does get better when they get older and more willing to try things

Jannt86 · 30/05/2021 21:46

Thanks. Tbh the confusing thing is that she cries and protests if I do suggest we stop. If she said she didn't want to do it I'd absolutely drop it. It's a shyness thing mostly I think. I realise she's young but there's literally about 20 kids her age in the cheerleading and she's the only one not joining kn and it does make me worry something's up with her. Perhaps I just need to stay patient and she'll develop her courage eventually.

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